Rejoicing
by Idan
Summary: Holiday fluff, set in the "Re" universe of stories (Redemption, Regret, Repentance, and Recovery). If you don't know who Bear is, you will probably be confused.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything to do with The Mentalist.

**Author's Note**: I started this series before I knew they were moving to Austin, so in this universe, they started out in Sacramento and then went to Austin somewhere between Recovery and this story. I was tempted to call this "A Very Bear-y Christmas" but decided that was too cheesy even for me. Even though this is probably a pretty cheesy story. I hope it holds some enjoyment for you nevertheless. Happy holidays!

The flames crackled merrily in the fireplace as Lisbon carried two glasses of Jane's homemade eggnog into the living room and set them on the coffee table. He grinned and leaned forward to claim one as she settled beside him on the couch, then slid an arm around her. "Thank you," he said. "Mmm. Just like I remember it."

"Old family recipe?" she asked, smiling at him before leaning her head against his shoulder.

He chuckled. "There's not enough alcohol in this house for that." He didn't think it would improve the mood to admit Angela had taught him that recipe.

"Thanks for coming up here with me," she said.

"Well, it's not like we were going to get a white Christmas in Austin," he pointed out. "Besides, I told you: I like it here. Once Abbott loosens up a little, we could live here full time. It's not like our cases actually happen in Texas that often."

She hummed thoughtfully. "Is that why you rented the house in Austin rather than buying?"

"That, and they haven't unfrozen my assets yet."

"You should have made that part of the deal."

"Meh. Abbott wouldn't have gone for it. He doesn't trust me not to run off." He realized as he said it that bringing up Lisbon's abandonment issues wasn't the wisest move he could have made. Maybe he needed to stop drinking the eggnog. "Although you'd think he'd realize that I have everything I want and no need to roam."

"Plus if you ever do, I will hunt you down and hurt you," Lisbon murmured drowsily.

"An even more compelling reason to stay," he agreed. He shifted so he was leaning back in the corner of the couch and settled her more comfortably against him. "Planning a nap before midnight Mass?"

"Mm. Wake me up in time, okay?"

"Of course." He stroked her soft hair, dropping a light kiss into it. "I wouldn't want to deprive Father Dowd of seeing his favorite parishioner."

Lisbon chuckled. "He likes you and all, but I don't think you're his favorite."

"Very funny. Aren't you afraid I'll spontaneously combust if I cross the threshold of a church?" he teased.

"You've done it before," she said.

"Not with the intent to attend a service." He couldn't resist giving her a hard time, though he intended to go with her, if only to show the people in Cannon River who cared about her that she was happily part of a couple now. The little old ladies at church would be thrilled, and he hoped Father Dowd would approve. Of course, that depended partly on whether the rest of the evening went according to plan.

"God finds old sinners like you irresistible. He might strike you blind on the road to Damascus or something, but he won't strike you dead in St. Bernadette's tonight." She slid an arm around him. "Probably."

"If I go blind, think we can train Bear as my seeing eye dog?" he grinned.

"Neither of our dogs would put up with that. We'd just have to get another one."

"Three dogs? Your retirement plan is to open an animal rescue facility, is it?"

"Maybe. Speaking of our dogs, they're awfully quiet out there. Maybe you should go see—" She broke off as Bear started barking at the door, as if on cue.

Jane gently lifted her so he could slide off the couch. She sat up and reached for her eggnog while he went to the back door, bracing himself against the cold as he opened it and stood back for Bear and Zelda to dash past him into the living room.

"Down! Bear, off the couch—you're all wet!" Lisbon ordered.

"It's started to snow," Jane called, ducking into the hall bathroom to grab a towel. "Bear, c'mere, boy."

Bear came running, tongue lolling out of the big doggy grin on his face. He wriggled and jumped as Jane toweled him off and wiped his paws, obviously thinking it was a game. "Hold still, buddy," Jane said. "There you go. Where's the alpha? Huh? Where is she? Go get her!"

Bear let out a bark and raced back to the living room. Jane grabbed a fresh towel and followed, grinning as he saw Bear attempting to sit on Lisbon's lap while she laughingly tried to push him off to the cushion beside her.

He loved these moments, watching her being happy and playful. She'd spent so much of her life being serious and stressed, and even now she was always serious on the job. Only he really got to see this side of her, and he loved it. He loved her. He was so glad he'd come back to her, and he was never leaving again. Now all he had to do was prove that to her.

"Hey, girl," he cooed at Zelda, who hunched down as he approached with the towel and looked up at him with big, liquid eyes. He was careful to move slowly, talking to her in his most soothing voice as he gently rubbed her dry.

Zelda wasn't the kind of dog he and Lisbon had gone to the shelter to get, but when he'd seen her huddled in her cage with a terrified expression, he'd felt a connection. And when she'd thumped her tail hopefully as he greeted her, he'd fallen in love. Lisbon had teased him about his damsel in distress complex, but she was a rescuer at heart, and she loved their new addition despite the dog's habit of flinching away from people as a result of her past abuse.

"There's my good girl," he said as he finished. Zelda would never look like a show dog, but at least now she was dry and scruffy instead of wet and scruffy, her sheepdog face and coat contrasting oddly with her black lab body and coloring. She was a misfit and a survivor, just like he was, and he wanted to give her a wonderful new life just like he had.

Zelda wagged her tail and only ducked her head a little when he petted her, then settled on the floor and laid her chin on her front paws. Jane stood and saw Lisbon watching them with a warm smile.

"You two are a cute couple," she said.

Jane took a moment to contrast what she was looking at—the scruffy pair he and Zelda made—with the picture she and Bear made: beautiful, perfect, and graceful. He knew Lisbon's life had been far from easy, but she transcended her pain with her kindness and caring. He wished he could be the flawless man she deserved, loyal and loving and scar-free like Bear, bringing her joy rather than heartache.

"What are you thinking?" she asked, frowning.

"Just making a Christmas wish," he replied, summoning a smile before turning to leave the room. He tossed the towel in the bathroom hamper, washed his hands, and went back to the living room to reclaim his spot from Bear. "It was cold out there. I need my Lisbon blanket."

She went willingly into his arms, though she faked a shiver as she did so. "Poor baby. You're half frozen," she said dryly.

He slid his cold, damp hands under her sweater, making her yelp and try to squirm away in protest. "Stop that!" she commanded, slapping at his hands.

"But you're so nice and warm," he protested.

"Not if you keep doing that!" But she settled back against him when he withdrew his hands, resting them on her hips.

"I bet I can warm you back up," he grinned, then leaned forward and captured her lips with his. He was just thinking about slipping his hands inside her sweater again when she yelped into his mouth and jumped.

"Bear!" she scolded, and Jane looked down to find the dog standing beside the couch, holding his tugging rope in his mouth and wagging hopefully.

"Bear," he laughed, "what have I told you about watching where you put your cold, wet nose? Hm? Go play with Zelda." He pointed. "See? Zelda would like to play."

Bear trotted over to Zelda, who wagged her tail at his approach. Jane felt Lisbon smile against his neck as they watched. Then she said softly, "Look at them. The cute guy asking the shy girl out on a date."

"Cute, huh? You trying to make me jealous?" He gave her a playful squeeze.

"You're very cute too," she said in a patronizing tone.

He tickled her in retaliation, then kissed her, drinking in her laughter like champagne. They indulged in a series of long, wet smooches until he became aware the dogs were growling and opened one eye to make sure all was well. Bear and Zelda each had hold of one end of the tugging rope and were trying to wrestle it away from the other. He chuckled a little.

Lisbon pulled back and laid her head on his chest. "We should stop. I'm not going to church smelling like sex."

"But eggnog on your breath is okay?"

"Mm hm."

Jane stroked her hair and went back to watching the dogs. Bear had taken the rope and was dancing in and out of Zelda's reach, daring her to try to take it from him.

"He's just like you," Lisbon murmured. "A gorgeous tease."

"Excuse me? I'm not the one who insisted we stop," he said indignantly.

"I'm talking about the decade of flirting that you had no intention of following through on."

"Hey, I had intentions. Just...not immediate ones." He hid a wince. He'd tried to stop flirting with her when he realized she was getting in too deep with him. But she was just so much fun to banter with, and her blushes were so adorable, that he hadn't always been successful.

"Bullshit," she snorted.

"Language, my dear. The little ones are listening."

"The little ones are fighting over a slobbery rope," she retorted. "And it's not like they're going to blurt it out in front of company."

Jane let the bubble of laughter that rose inside him escape. "That would certainly be memorable!"

Lisbon smiled at him, pleased with herself for making him laugh as always. "We could get rich. Us and our talking dogs."

"I've always said you'd look good in a sequined leotard," he grinned.

"I'll wear one if you will," she grinned back.

Jane let out a shout of laughter. Bear turned to look at him, and Zelda snatched the rope while he was distracted.

"That's my girl!" Lisbon said happily. Zelda came over to the couch and crouched down, laying the rope near Lisbon. She picked it up and waited for Zelda to take the other end, and they began a game of tug-of-war. The way Lisbon wiggled against him every time Zelda tugged on the rope was pleasant indeed, and he tightened his arms around her to keep her from being tugged off the couch.

After a respectable interval, Lisbon let Zelda win and settled back down on top of Jane. He slid so he was lying down, and Lisbon stretched herself out like a cozy blanket. The dogs went back to their game; Jane knew from experience that they wouldn't stop until bedtime.

"Hey," he said softly, pausing until she turned her head to look at him. "You know I love you, right?"

She smiled, her eyes holding only a trace of the anxiety that usually accompanied his declarations. "I know," she replied after a moment.

The first time he'd said it, he'd told her that she didn't need to say it back to him unless she really wanted to, so he wasn't expecting it when she continued a little breathlessly. "I love you too."

His heart swelled with relief and joy. He'd waited a long time to hear that, and her timing was perfect. It made his next move so much easier.

Leaning forward to kiss her, he moved his free hand between the couch cushion and the couch itself, pulling out the ring he'd stashed there earlier and, under the guise of playing with her fingers, slipped it on her. It took her a few seconds to register what had just happened, and when she pulled back from the kiss her eyes were almost comically wide. He couldn't help but smile. "Merry Christmas, Teresa."

Slowly, she brought her left hand up in front of her face and stared at the row of diamonds now gracing her ring finger. "Jane," she breathed in disbelief. She propped herself up on her elbow, which was a little painful, and then sat up, leaving him bereft of her warmth. "It's—you can't—" She shook her head a little. "You've only been back for two months!"

"Two months, sixteen days, and two hours," he replied, counting from when he'd shown up on her doorstep, not when he'd crossed the border. He hadn't been home until he'd seen her, after all. He sat up so she could see he was taking this seriously.

She gaped at him. He was enjoying the shock in her expression, but the distress creeping into it made him say, "You don't have to wear it if you don't want to. I won't pressure you to set a date or anything. I just wanted you to have it, as a symbol of my commitment to you. A promise that I'm not going anywhere. Because I'm not. I belong with you, and nothing will change that. I'm never leaving you again if I can possibly help it." He picked up her left hand and brushed his lips across her knuckles. "And if by chance I do, I will come back to you. I will always come back to you. I promise."

The tears in her eyes were a sign she was remembering the times he'd left her with no such assurance. He deeply regretted them all, and he hoped this would start to make it up to her.

She blinked hard a couple of times, then managed to say, "But I didn't get you anything like this!"

Jane grinned. His earlier perusal of the gifts under the tree led him to believe Lisbon had focused on the practical in an attempt to reverse his recent hobo vibe. He didn't mind; if she wanted to buy him socks and underwear, he was fine with that. Maybe he'd even be fine with new shoes. It was something a spouse would do, and in his mind they were married in all but the legal sense. She was the woman he intended to spend the rest of his life with. That was what mattered.

"You don't need to," he said. "For years, you did all the giving and I did all the taking. I'm reversing that pattern. I want to give you everything you want, and I don't need anything in return." He smiled at her, letting all his love and affection show. "Though the best gift you could possibly give me would be to say yes."

"You really want to get married again?" she asked incredulously.

"Only if it's to you," he replied. "I had the idea we could ask Father Dowd to marry us. Your brothers could come here, and maybe we could do it outdoors in the spring and the dogs could be our attendants. Bear would make a fantastic best man."

Hearing his name, Bear trotted over, wagging his tail and laying the tugging rope hopefully in Jane's lap. Jane took a minute to play with him, giving Lisbon time to compose her thoughts. Tiring of the tug-of-war, he knelt on the floor and began rubbing Bear's tummy, making the dog squirm with ecstasy and eventually flop onto his back so Jane could reach more of his stomach.

"Such a good boy," he crooned, which made Bear's tail speed up. After a moment, Zelda came over, crouching uncertainly as she watched. "You want a tummy rub too, Zelda? Hm? There's nothing like a good tummy rub, is there?"

Zelda wagged her tail and ducked her head, then crept a little closer. Jane reached out carefully to scratch her chin, smiling as she leaned into it. After several minutes of gentle coaxing, he got her to roll over and enjoy herself, tail thumping the floor excitedly as he slid his fingers through her curly belly fur.

Jane glanced up as Bear stood, shook himself, and picked up his rope to carry it to Lisbon. She was watching them with a gentle smile, her eyes a little misty. He could read her thought as clearly as if it were tattooed on her forehead: they were already a family. The engagement was a formality.

He smiled back at her to show her he understood.

"Yes," Lisbon said softly. Then she grinned. "But only for the kids' sake."

Jane laughed, startling Zelda as he sprang to his feet and sat back down on the couch so he could draw his fiancée into his arms. She kissed him enthusiastically, and he smiled as she threaded her fingers through his hair and he felt the cool touch of the metal against his scalp.

This was his new family, he thought happily. A little unconventional, maybe, but a loving one he would always be glad to come home to. To build a home with. He would never take that for granted.

This was the first Christmas in far too long that he felt like celebrating. He promised himself he would treasure every moment of it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **More fluff, because it's almost Christmas and I can't help myself.

**Disclaimer**: I'm actually a cat person, but I grew up in a family of dog people, so we always had both. Bear and Zelda are my loving tribute to my childhood dogs, but one of these days I really need to write a story where Jane and Lisbon get a cat!

**Chapter 2**

Midnight Mass wasn't as tedious as Jane feared, mainly because he got to enjoy Lisbon's enjoyment of it. And the payoff he'd looked forward to was well worth it; after the service, Lisbon was surrounded by people who wanted to find out how she was doing in her new life. Once the ring was spotted, the exclamations were gratifying. He found he liked being known as Lisbon's long-lost love, but what he really adored was the way her cheeks grew rosy and her eyes sparkled with happiness as she accepted the congratulations.

It was late, so Lisbon exchanged promises to see her fellow parishioners on Sunday and moved toward the door, where Father Dowd was greeting everyone. He beamed when he saw Lisbon, grasping her hands. "Teresa! I'm so glad you were able to come. Welcome home."

"Thank you, Father. You remember Patrick?" She turned to include him in their conversation.

"Of course. Welcome back, Patrick. I hope you have indeed found your way," the priest smiled.

"I have, yes," Jane agreed. "And we are hoping you'll marry us."

"It would be my very great pleasure. Just let me know when."

Jane opened his mouth to suggest the spring, but Lisbon said, "Sometime this week, if you're free."

"I believe that can be arranged," Father Dowd said. "Will you be wanting the church as well?"

"Yes," Lisbon said, glancing at Jane as if daring him to disagree. He merely grinned at her. They had done things his way for years; he was content to let her dictate terms for this.

"Excellent. I'll notify the hospitality committee. They'll be thrilled by the challenge of a reception on such short notice." Father Dowd chuckled.

"Nothing fancy, please," Lisbon said. "Just a quiet little wedding."

Jane chimed in, "Can we bring the dogs?"

Father Dowd looked nonplussed, but only for a moment. "Certainly. They are God's creatures too. Merry Christmas to you both. I'll speak to you soon."

"Thanks," Jane said. "And Merry Christmas."

Lisbon echoed the sentiment, and they walked through the crisp, cold air to the car. Once inside, Lisbon started the engine, then said, "Are you okay with getting married now? I just thought we should do it while we're here. Who knows when we'll get time off again."

"Of course I'm okay with it. I should have guessed that you'd want to present me to your family as a fait accompli rather than explain that you intend to marry a man whose former occupations include con artist, revenge seeker, and fugitive beach bum."

"Well, when you put it that way," she said, sounding a little dubious.

"Don't worry. I'm respectable now, aren't I? And our getting married in church will earn me points with your brothers." He grimaced at a sudden thought. "Are you going to expect me to wear a tie?"

"I'm not planning to wear a dress," she replied. "Do you think Cho will come?"

"Are you kidding? He'll be here with bells on. What about the Rigsby clan? I still haven't met the newest addition."

"I'll call them and see. Do you want to invite Fischer and Abbott?"

"I most certainly do not." Though he'd love to see Abbott's face when he heard the news, he wasn't interested in having his sour puss looming at the wedding. And he could definitely do without Fischer judging everything. More importantly, Lisbon would be more comfortable with neither of them present.

"Good." Lisbon double-checked before backing out of the parking space.

Jane grinned.

mmm

Lisbon burrowed under the covers as she felt a cold wave of air enter the room. Sure enough, a few seconds later she felt the bed shift as Jane slid back into it, followed by another jarring motion as Bear jumped up. She tucked her face safely under the blanket to avoid a licking as Bear came to see if she was awake, not emerging until he'd made his obligatory circles and settled down near her knees.

"Hey. Look," Jane said in a soft voice.

Lisbon stuck a hand out experimentally, and when nothing happened, she lowered the covers and peeked at Jane. He nodded toward the foot of the bed, and she looked to see what was going on.

Zelda was huddled on the corner of the bed, looking unsure of her welcome. When she noticed Lisbon looking at her, she wagged her tail once, hopefully.

"Hi, sweetie," Lisbon greeted her, smiling. This was the first time Zelda had joined them in bed; she usually slept under it.

"It's a Christmas miracle," Jane whispered, beaming, as Zelda relaxed a little under their gaze.

"Yes, it is." Lisbon felt her heart swell with happiness. Zelda would probably always be nervous, but she was finally beginning to trust them enough to participate in the morning snuggle. She'd worried the dog was too traumatized to ever accept them as her pack, but Jane had been right. She'd just needed love and patience.

She scooted closer to him, giving him a good morning kiss. He smiled at her, laying his head back on the pillow and looking at her as if memorizing the moment.

He was beautiful in the morning light, his tousled curls glinting gold and his face a little flushed from being chilled. He'd obviously gotten up to let the dogs out, allowing her to sleep in. She loved him for that, as well as all the other ways he showed his caring and thoughtfulness.

Now there were two words she wouldn't have used to describe Jane in their former life. But he was changed, both by the resolution of his revenge and his isolation afterward. She didn't have to compete for his attention anymore—well, not usually. He did sometimes get lost in his thoughts on a challenging case. But he always came back to her before she could give in to the impulse to force him to.

"Merry Christmas, my dear," he murmured.

"Merry Christmas," she replied, reaching up to stroke his cheek. "Cold out there, hm?"

"Very. The dogs set a landspeed record for getting back inside," he said. "I'm still thawing."

"Aw. Poor baby." She moved closer now that it felt less like lying next to an ice pack.

He slid his arms around her and pulled her against him, which she didn't mind since he kept his hands on the outside of her flannel pajamas. They lay together comfortably, the dogs occasionally letting out a sigh or snort. Otherwise everything was silent, as if they were alone in the world.

She rested her forehead against his and thought about the Christmases she'd spent without him. She'd always said a special prayer that he was well and not spending the day grieving, hoping that maybe he found some comfort in his memories. Like that Christmas when they'd gotten snowed in at a tiny park ranger cabin with so little food that Jane had hypnotized Rigsby into believing that the snow he was eating was ice cream. It hadn't been fun at the time, but she looked back on it fondly now.

But it seemed incredible that the Jane in her memories was lying beside her, having given her an engagement ring. Even more incredibly, he seemed prepared to marry her in her church with her priest officiating. Was this really something he wanted? Or was he doing this because he thought she wanted it, and he was still on his make-things-up-to-her kick? They were still in the early stage of their relationship, when it would be easy to rush into things and only later realize it was a mistake.

"It's Christmas morning, Teresa. Isn't it some kind of sin to be so solemn?"

She shifted back a bit so she could focus on his face. He seemed content. But this was Jane, the consummate actor. How would she ever really know? "Do you really want to get married?" she asked.

He frowned. "I spent several evenings choosing the ring. I hid it from you for several more, which was no easy task since you insisted on inspecting my suitcase to make sure the clothes I picked were warm enough. I then planned exactly how I was going to propose. It wasn't a hasty impulse." He paused. "So I can only assume you are the one having doubts."

"I just...never really thought about getting married," she admitted.

"I realize that," he said gently. "I'm also well aware that the last time a man gave you a ring, you ran halfway across the country to get away from him. So I'm warning you now: if you run, I'm coming after you. I know people at the FBI, you know."

"I won't run," she said, a little indignant.

"No, but you might rush the wedding so you don't have time to get cold feet."

She grimaced. "I'm not. It just makes sense to do it now."

"We have time, Teresa. All the time you need."

She closed her eyes and sighed, thinking of how to explain what she was thinking. After a moment, she felt Jane's fingers gently stroking her hair. The fact that he wasn't pushing her made it easier to say, "I just don't want the stress of thinking about it, trying to plan a perfect day. I'd rather just do it and be married."

"You mean you don't want to explain to everyone at the FBI that you're going to marry me," he said in that same neutral tone. "Are you afraid they'll talk you out of it? Abbott will try."

"So will Fischer," she sighed. Imagining the conversations made her want to cringe.

Jane sighed. "At least my buddy Cho will take my side. At least, he will after he tells me exactly how much he'll hurt me if I make you unhappy."

She suddenly realized how this conversation must be making Jane feel. Knowing that everyone would have reservations about their marriage couldn't be a confidence booster, especially since he knew she had them too. Under all that self-confidence was a man who had been desperately lonely for so long he had despaired of ever being otherwise. He needed to be loved and to know that he would never be lonely again. His giving her the ring was a promise, but it was also him asking for a promise in return.

"If you need hurting, I'll do it myself. Nobody lays a hand on my husband and gets away with it," she said, trying for a light tone.

His sudden smile was breathtaking. "I guess that means I have to give up inciting people to punch me in the nose, then, if you're planning to retaliate."

"I'd appreciate that," she said.

He kissed her, then said, "What would you like for Christmas breakfast? Nice fluffy pancakes drowning in maple syrup?"

"Mmm. Sounds perfect. But can we just stay here a few more minutes?" She tucked her face into his neck, savoring his warmth and scent, and he tightened his embrace.

"As long as you want," he murmured, pressing a kiss behind her ear. "For the rest of our lives."

That was what marriage meant, she realized. A promise to be there for each other. No more Christmas mornings waking up alone. From now on she would be spending Christmas with her family, whether she and Jane chose to go to Chicago or stay home with the dogs.

Selfishly, she hoped they would spend most of them just like this. Chicago was lovely in the summer.

mmm

After breakfast, they opened presents. As Jane suspected, Lisbon's gifts to him were mostly aimed at replenishing his meager wardrobe. She'd gone all out, though, with silk boxers and expensive socks and shirts. His favorite was the set of monogrammed handkerchiefs. His least favorite was the tie, though he had to admit the pale blue would look good on him.

The dogs loved their new toys and patiently endured the reindeer horns Jane had insisted on buying, at least long enough to have their pictures taken. Now they were contentedly gnawing on their rawhide bones.

Lisbon had saved the large box with her name on it for last, obviously ambivalent about opening it. Considering some of the extravagant things he'd gotten her before, he couldn't really blame her.

"You already got me a diamond ring. I don't need anything else," she said as she reached for the box.

"The ring doesn't count as a Christmas present. I believe it's supposed to be a demonstration of my willingness to buy you sparkly things, a vestigial remnant of the custom of establishing the prospective groom's ability to financially provide for the bride." He grinned when she rolled her eyes at him. "But in this case I'm afraid I must insist you continue working. Not because we need the money, but because I can't do without you."

"Like I'd ever leave you to your own devices," Lisbon replied. "Letting you destroy the FBI would be downright unpatriotic."

"But fun," he winked. "Admit it: you'd love to get back at Abbott for shutting down the CBI."

"I'm not nine," she pointed out. "Besides, I get all the satisfaction I need from watching him try to bend you to his will. I'm looking forward to the day he finally admits defeat."

"I will do my very best to hasten it, then. Open your present, Teresa. There's no need to be so worried; I promise there are no snakes or scorpions in it."

"That's not what I'm worried about." She shook it experimentally.

"And it cost less than a hundred thousand dollars," he added mischievously.

She stared at him with wide eyes, then looked down at her ring with trepidation. He decided to take pity on her. "So did that. I didn't think you'd want anything showy."

"This is perfect," she said firmly.

He let his smugness show. "Of course it is. Quit stalling, my dear."

"It's not another pony, is it?"

"Don't be ridiculous. Ponies are for birthdays. Who ever heard of a Christmas pony?"

She rolled her eyes and began carefully unwrapping, lifting the tape at the seams as if she intended to reuse the paper at some point. He wondered if she'd done that growing up, saving every possible penny to be able to buy things for her brothers next year.

Or maybe it was just part of the Type A mystique that was Teresa Lisbon.

When she finally got the box open, then opened the smaller wooden box inside, she gasped. She must have stared into the box for a full minute before extending a hand to touch the mother of pearl handle antique dueling pistols there.

"I thought it was time to add a decorative touch to your arsenal," Jane said.

Lisbon burst out laughing. "These are the most ridiculous things I've ever seen! But beautiful. Thank you. Where on earth did you get them?"

"An antique store, of course. They're early nineteenth century. I figure we can hang them above the fireplace. Now, look under the box."

"There's more?" she exclaimed.

"Yes. The practical part of your present." Although he wasn't certain she would agree with that characterization.

"You got me clothes?" She seemed puzzled as she dug into the fabric, then annoyed. "Jane! Where exactly do you think I'm going to wear this?" She held up the daring bikini incredulously.

"On our honeymoon, of course." He'd been tempted to buy her lingerie, but he'd been concerned she might interpret that as a sign he wasn't satisfied with their sex life, which couldn't be further from the truth.

She pulled out the gauzy wrap meant to cover the bikini, then the strappy sandals, and smiled. "I assume this means we're having a beach honeymoon?"

"I was hoping so, yes. Of course, I thought we'd be getting married later in the year, but we'll just go a little farther south." He grinned at her.

"Hm. A little sure of yourself, weren't you? What if I'd said no?"

"Then I'd have told you we needed to go on a nice tropical vacation and work on our relationship." He had thought about the possibility, after all, calculating there was a roughly 60 percent chance she would refuse his proposal on the grounds it was too soon. He'd never been happier to beat the odds.

"Mm hm," she responded, as if she didn't believe he'd doubted for a second. She slipped the sandals on and admired them, then smiled at him.

"You should try the rest of it on. You know, in case I got the size wrong or something."

She chuckled. "Only if you try on a shirt and the tie."

"Deal." He whipped the t-shirt he wore to bed over his head and shook the cardboard insert out of one of the crisp white shirts. Lisbon shook her head with an indulgent smile and took off her pajamas. Jane greatly enjoyed watching her adjust the bikini, disappointed when she put the coverup on.

"Gorgeous. I knew turquoise would look fantastic with your eyes," he said. "Is my tie straight? It's been a while."

"It looks great." She smoothed it down his chest, slanting her eyes at him with a look he'd grown to love.

Jane glanced over at the dogs, still intent on destroying their rawhide. "I think we have about half an hour before we'll be interrupted. I would like to memorize you in your bikini in front of the Christmas tree. And then I would like to take it off you and begin a new Christmas morning tradition of making love under the tree."

The slow smile Lisbon gave him was better than any sunrise, and held as much promise.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I'm still not Catholic, but a couple of reviewers pointed out that you can't just up and get married in a Catholic Church. So I did some Googling. But please overlook any weirdness or inaccuracies. Or you can drop me a line and set me straight—I am always willing to learn new things!

**Author's Note: **I intended this to be a sweet, fluffy little story, but this chapter turned into a serious slog. I'm not sure what my muse is up to, but I know better than to argue with her. I hope you all have a very happy New Year!

**Chapter 3**

They spent Christmas Day snuggled up together, being lazy and only doing what they felt like. The dogs were thrilled to have their attention, and Lisbon thought there was something to be said for Jane's suggestion of a sloth Christmas. Especially now, their first Christmas as a family, she was content to lie around with Jane, Bear, and Zelda and just be with them.

When Jane asked her about her favorite childhood Christmas, she told him about the one when she was nine and they'd all gone ice skating. He then shocked her by recounting a Christmas from his own youth involving a performing bear, an elephant, and an ostrich in a nativity pageant gone horribly awry. She enjoyed it enormously, but what made her happiest was the thought that Jane was beginning to open up enough to share his past with her.

They went for a walk in the least frozen part of the afternoon, all four of them enjoying the snow and the silence of the woods. The dogs followed a few scent trails, but Lisbon and Jane kept them on the path and out of trouble, though Bear did flush out a squirrel.

That night they drank hot chocolate, played with the dogs, and cuddled on the couch drinking eggnog before retiring to bed. After a leisurely but satisfying encounter between the sheets, they fell asleep tangled together, the dogs keeping each other warm at the foot of the bed.

The next morning, Lisbon got up early, let the dogs out and back in again, and decided to make Jane breakfast for a change. She'd just cracked a few eggs in a bowl when there was a knock on the door. Frowning, she tied her robe a little tighter and went to answer it.

"Mrs. Halloran!" she exclaimed in surprise. "Is everything all right?"

"Yes, dear! Oh, look at that beautiful ring! Congratulations! We have so much to do, don't we? The ladies at your church are taking care of the cake and reception, so I volunteered to be in charge of wardrobe." The older lady turned and picked up a large box in a plastic bag she had set on the front porch bench, then hurried into the house.

Lisbon closed the door automatically as Bear came to see what was up. He distracted Mrs. Halloran for a moment with his enthusiastic greeting, giving Lisbon a chance to peer into the bag. As she feared, it was a box from a dry cleaners. A very old box.

"I had my wedding dress preserved hoping I'd have a daughter to wear it, but I only had boys. And my granddaughter wanted something modern for her wedding. But you are about the size I was, so I thought you might like to try it and see if it would work for you. Since you don't really have time to buy something."

Lisbon was touched, but also horrified. How could she possibly tell her kindly neighbor no if she hated the dress? She summoned a smile. "That's so kind of you, Mrs. Halloran. I'm sure it's lovely."

"It is old fashioned, but that lovely Kate Middleton brought lace back into style. My dress has a boat neckline but otherwise it's quite similar. And look." She reached into the bag and drew out a smaller box. "This veil was a gift from Mark's grandmother."

The antique veil edged in lace took Lisbon's breath away as Mrs. Halloran carefully lifted it out of its box. "I wore it with flowers, which are long gone, of course. Here." She set the veil on Lisbon's head, smoothing it over her hair with a wistful smile that made Lisbon's heart melt.

"Wow." Jane stood in the doorway, mouth hanging open slightly in a rare display of shock. Zelda peered from behind his legs.

Mrs. Halloran grinned at him. "And here's the lucky groom himself. Shoo, young man! No seeing the bride in her dress before the wedding!"

Jane recovered enough to grin back. "Yes, ma'am. Can I offer you some breakfast?"

"No, but I'd love a cup of tea," she replied, making him beam at her.

"It would be my very great pleasure. Coffee, Teresa?"

"Please," she replied. "Mrs. Halloran, let's go upstairs. I want to grab a shower before I try on your dress. And I'd hate to get dog hair on it."

Mrs. Halloran patted Bear. "No need to worry, my dear. It's time for this dress to be a part of some new memories. And I know how much Bear means to you. Now, you have your shower and I'll drink a cup of tea with your lovely young man and talk about tuxedoes."

mmm

When Lisbon emerged from her shower, Jane and Mrs. Halloran were chatting like old friends over the remnants of a pot of tea. Jane got up and greeted her with a kiss as he handed her a mug of coffee. "I've called a formalwear shop in the next town over and made an appointment for tomorrow afternoon. Father Dowd is coming over in an hour for a chat, so you'd best hurry with your dress fitting."

Lisbon sipped at her coffee and tried not to show her concern over how the day was developing. Father Dowd's "chat" was not the informal visit Jane was clearly envisioning. Lisbon had only a passing knowledge of the steps couples were supposed to go through before marriage in the church, but she knew it was an extensive and thorough process, no doubt involving the kind of personal discussions Jane went to great lengths to avoid.

Clearly, she hadn't thought this through. They might not be getting married at all, much less this week.

"Stop worrying," Jane whispered in her ear as he kissed her cheek. "I can play along."

She smiled for him and invited Mrs. Halloran upstairs, thinking that Jane might be overestimating his chances. Father Dowd was an astute judge of character, and he had far more background information than Jane was probably expecting. She wished now that she'd talked about him less, but at the time she'd never expected the two to meet.

Well, she thought as she carried the wedding dress box upstairs, it was shaping up to be an interesting day. At least she didn't have to worry about Jane being bored.

mmm

It took a long time to get the dress on, and then Lisbon and Mrs. Halloran realized that Lisbon didn't own a full-length mirror, so they sent Jane next door to fetch the antique (and, as it turned out, very heavy) one in Mrs. Halloran's bedroom. Meanwhile, Mrs. Halloran pinned up the hem several inches, and they decided to leave the detachable train off.

"When did you get married?" Lisbon asked. From what she could see, the dress wasn't bad. It was a little tight across the chest but otherwise fit surprisingly well. She felt like she was playing dress up, but she suspected she'd feel that way in any gown.

"December 19, 1965. Last week would have been our fiftieth if Mark had lived to see it."

"I'm sorry." Lisbon thought about her two years without Jane. She'd never thought of herself as a widow, but she imagined the loss, the grief, and the regrets would be similar.

She hoped she would never find out. Except she could hardly wish for Jane to be left a widower for a second time.

"Thank you, my dear. It's been two years, but I still miss him. I don't think I'll ever stop. But I know he'd want me to go on finding joy in life. And he'd love the sight of you in this dress. You're beautiful." She stood back and looked at Lisbon with a slightly misty smile.

A banging from downstairs heralded Jane's return. Lisbon started for the door before remembering she was wearing a dress full of pins.

"You stay right there. I'm sure Patrick will manage," Mrs. Halloran said.

From downstairs, Jane said in an exasperated tone, "Bear, out of the way! It's not staying, so you don't have to give it a thorough inspection!"

Lisbon couldn't help but grin. A few minutes later, Jane wrestled the big oval mirror into the room, settling it beside the door with an audible sigh of relief. Bear followed, circling the mirror and seeming intent on sniffing every inch of it.

Jane made a show of wiping his brow with one of his new handkerchiefs, but in mid-gesture he caught sight of Lisbon and froze. She held her breath as he looked at her, relieved when a big smile broke over his face.

"Well now," he said. "Mrs. Halloran, you have exquisite taste." He took the two steps to Lisbon, placed his hands at her waist, and kissed her soundly. She could tell he was being careful of the dress; his fingers flexed as if he were itching to pull her against him, but he didn't. When he pulled back, he whispered, "I can't wait to marry you."

She smiled at him, loving the way he was looking at her. She hadn't yet really seen herself in the dress, but she knew it was right if it put that look on his face.

Mrs. Halloran said, "Doesn't she look just like a picture, Patrick?"

"She does indeed. We can't thank you enough," Jane replied. He stepped aside, and Lisbon caught sight of herself in the mirror. Her breath caught.

She had never imagined herself this way—not since she was a kid, anyway. Her job had taken first place in her life for most of her adulthood, and while she'd been in Washington she hadn't dated because she'd known she wasn't over Jane. Getting married hadn't been on her radar for years. She hadn't realized Jane was thinking about it and had been shocked when he'd proposed. So she hadn't really gotten her head around this whole wedding thing yet.

The dress was a little old-fashioned, but it had clean lines and was in excellent condition. She realized it reminded her of her mother's wedding gown, which she'd seen only in pictures since her father had thrown it out in one of his earliest drunken rages.

_Mom would have loved this,_ she thought, and felt tears start to her eyes. Had her mother looked at her sometimes and pictured her wedding day? She couldn't have pictured this, Lisbon knew. She could never have imagined Jane.

Warm, strong fingers closed around hers, and she glanced over at him to find him smiling tenderly at her. He was probably guessing her thoughts.

"Shirley Bascombe is making up your bouquet," Mrs. Halloran said, "so if you have a favorite flower, I'd let her know."

Lisbon wasn't a flowers kind of girl, but she did recall Jane expressing a preference once. "Gardenias."

Jane grinned. "My favorite. So tell me, Mrs. Halloran, is the entire town involved in our wedding?"

"Oh, no, of course not," she chuckled. "Just those of us who know Teresa. She was quite active in her church, you know, as well as the food bank and several other charities. She made friends wherever she went."

"I'm not surprised," Jane said. He leaned over to kiss Lisbon's forehead. "I'm going to get my shower so I can be presentable for Father Dowd, unless you need me for something else?"

"No," she said. "Thanks for the mirror."

Lisbon watched him go, distracted only when Mrs. Halloran began wondering aloud about whether the sleeves were too long.

It occurred to her to hope that Angela's wedding dress had been an entirely different style.

mmm

Lisbon had just sat down after waving good-bye to Mrs. Halloran when Jane handed her a cup of coffee. "I knew you had made a life here, but I didn't realize you had been adopted so thoroughly."

"Neither did I," she replied, taking a sip. "Um, I should probably warn you that getting married in the church requires some preparation."

"I don't have to convert, do I?" he asked, as though perfectly prepared to do so.

"No. We'll probably have to talk about religious instruction for any children we might have, though."

He raised his eyebrows at her. "Are we planning to have children? I admit I didn't think that was an issue we needed to discuss."

Lisbon frowned at him. "Not planning to, no. Not at my age. But we could adopt, or conceive unexpectedly. It's not impossible."

"Unruffle your feathers, my dear. I was not implying anything about your age or physical condition, which as far as I can determine is in a state of perpetual perfection. I was merely being selfish. I have no desire to share you or to do without you on the job. But I assume from your expression that you don't expect Father Dowd to find that an acceptable answer."

"That's not it. I'm just surprised. You're so good with kids. I thought you'd want more." She looked at him closely.

Jane sighed. "In a perfect world, maybe. But as things are...I'm not sure I could stand to be responsible for a child again. I'm afraid I'd be paranoid and smothering and a nervous wreck. It's bad enough worrying about you, and you're armed and trained and seriously scary when you need to be."

Lisbon digested this. Her reservations about parenthood centered around her age, with a healthy helping of anxiety about leaving Jane to his own devices at the FBI for even a short maternity leave. But how on earth would they raise a child while traveling around the country solving crimes? Since Jane was committed to working for the FBI for at least the next few years, that meant she'd have to find some way to make her job family friendly and be the primary caregiver. She couldn't see leaving her child in a nanny's hands for most of its infancy and hardly ever seeing him or her. It was hard enough leaving Bear and Zelda when they didn't know how long they'd be gone.

"Well, I guess that's one thing resolved. We can tell him we've discussed our plans for a family," she said, trying to keep her disappointment out of her voice. Not that she'd seriously thought they would have a baby, but she'd expected Jane to want one. Maybe, she realized, she'd wanted him to talk her into it.

Jane gave her a look that said he was perfectly aware she was being unreasonable in her own head. "We can reopen the discussion anytime you feel it's merited," he said. "I'll never stand in the way of anything you truly want, Teresa. I did that for far too long."

"It has to be something we both want," she pointed out.

He sighed. "It's not like I haven't pictured a little boy with your hair and my eyes, my smile and your cute button nose. My issues are probably not unresolvable, given an imperative. I am happy with our pack as it's currently constituted, but if you're not, then obviously I need to take that into account. Because I can't be happy if you're not."

"I am. I just..." She broke off, confused. "I guess I'm just not ready to let go of the possibility."

"Fair enough." Jane leaned over to kiss her. "I want you to have the things you want, Teresa. Every single one of them."

Why did she feel so uncomfortable when he said things like that? He wasn't lying, and she could remember many times in their past when she would have given anything to hear him say something like that. Maybe she just wasn't used to getting what she wanted?

Or maybe she was sensing that he was offering her a life built on only half a foundation. Their marriage couldn't be about what she wanted; it had to be about what he wanted, too. Otherwise there was a risk he would wake up one day, find himself in a life he didn't want—had never wanted—and walk out, never to return. She didn't think she could bear that. Better to never marry at all than to end up like that.

How could she say that to him? She stared at him, trying to find the words. Jane stared back, frowning as he tried to read the thought she was struggling to verbalize.

A knock at the door broke the stalemate. Jane blinked, then leaned forward and kissed her again. "It's going to be okay," he whispered, just before he got up to answer the door.

Lisbon composed herself as Jane returned with Father Dowd, returning their smiles and hoping she didn't look nearly as freaked out as she felt. "Hello, Father. Thank you for taking the time to come see us."

"It's my pleasure, Teresa, Patrick. You will be glad to hear that you have a selection of times and dates for your wedding. I've made a list." He handed her a piece of paper before he sat down in the chair facing the couch. "From what I'm hearing, it sounds like preparations are already well underway. This is the biggest thing to happen in ages. It's like you've given the entire town a Christmas present." He chuckled.

Lisbon looked at the list. "We're leaving in six days. I don't think we can manage tomorrow. And I'd like to leave time for people to get here if they can come. Saturday?" She handed the list to Jane, who had taken his seat beside her, for his opinion.

"Agreed," he said. "Two o'clock sounds good."

"A New Year's wedding. Excellent." Father Dowd beamed at them. "That should give us enough time to get through your marriage preparation requirements. Patrick, I know you are not Catholic, so I should explain that the church requires couples to go through certain steps before they are married. The exact requirements vary from parish to parish, but here, we use a pre-marriage relationship inventory and counseling sessions. Mostly with me, but I do like to have couples speak with another couple who have been married a long time. In your case, the Stephensons have volunteered. They'd like to have you over for dinner tomorrow."

"Sure," Lisbon said, glancing at Jane. He gave her a reassuring smile.

"Excellent. Let's get started. What I'd like to do today is have a brief talk, then I'll leave you to do the inventory. We can reconvene tomorrow and go through the results. I assume you have access to a computer and the internet?"

"Yes," Lisbon said. She glanced at Jane again.

He grinned. "I can overcome my Luddite tendencies for the privilege of marrying you, my dear."

mmm

It was late when they went to bed; the questionnaire was much longer than Lisbon had expected, and some of the questions took some thought. Jane had only taken about half the time she had, making her wonder if he was taking it seriously. He'd joked around during their talk with Father Dowd, asking if he got credit for having been married before. But he'd done it in a lighthearted way, not in the sarcastic, combative way he often used at work.

Still, if he couldn't take this seriously, they couldn't be married in the church. And maybe they shouldn't be married at all. She'd rushed him; there was no denying that. He'd simply meant to give her a symbol of reassurance, and she'd tried to shackle him with it. He'd gone along out of a sense of obligation.

She was being selfish. She needed to stop.

Curled up against him in the dark, the dogs at their feet, she swallowed hard and whispered, "Don't do this just because you think I want it."

He sighed, his breath washing over the top of her head. "Teresa, we've been over this. I want to marry you. I wouldn't have offered you an engagement ring if I didn't. Why is that so hard for you to accept?" He paused only a beat before answering himself. "Because I can't take all this so-called counseling seriously? You know how I feel about that sort of thing. It doesn't mean I don't take marriage seriously."

"I know," she said. Jane was nothing if not loyal; she wasn't worried about him straying. But maybe that was the problem. Maybe he couldn't let go of his first marriage enough for this to seem real to him. "But I... You don't have to pretend, you know. I know you'll always love her more."

She felt him tense, and a moment later he threw back the covers and got out of bed, leaving the room without looking back. The dogs' heads popped up, startled, and Bear jumped down and trotted after Jane. Zelda whined, then laid back down, looking at Lisbon. After a few seconds, the dog crept up closer to her and tentatively licked her face. It was only then that Lisbon realized she was crying.

She slid an arm around Zelda, and the dog leaned heavily against her as if offering comfort.

mmm

Jane was grateful for Bear's company as he leaned over the kitchen sink, trying to calm himself. The dog's silent presence helped him focus and push through the maelstrom of emotion so he could think clearly.

There had been plenty of times over the course of their acquaintance when Lisbon had confounded him with her stubbornness or insistence on adhering to the rules, but he'd never seen her tangle herself up in an emotional knot before. Not like this. He'd meant to reassure her, dammit, not push her into things she wasn't ready for. How had he let this get so out of control?

He needed to get to the heart of what was bothering her, but first he needed to get her calmed down so she'd stop trying to push him away. She was projecting all her fears and uncertainties onto him so she could bring this to a halt without confronting her deep-seated commitment issues. He wondered idly if Father Dowd was astute enough to spot them.

Well, fine. First, he'd go back and redo the stupid questionnaire to reflect his real thoughts instead of what he calculated Father Dowd expected to hear. It would prolong the process, but he was willing to do that if it meant convincing Lisbon that he was serious. And if Father Dowd couldn't spot the real problem on his own, Jane could think of several ways to shine a light on it.

He put the kettle on and fired up Lisbon's laptop. It was a good thing he wasn't sleepy.

mmm

It was early morning when Jane finished, and Bear had long since gone back to bed. But Zelda had come down to check on him and was curled up under the table, snoring gently with her head on his foot. He shut down the computer, finished the last sip of tea, and reached down to pet her. "Let's go back upstairs, huh, girl?"

She lifted her head and wagged her tail, getting to her feet as he did and following him upstairs. She hopped up on the bed as Jane took in the sight of Bear snuggled up with Lisbon, her arm draped over him.

"Hey, buddy," Jane said, rubbing Bear's head. "You're in my spot."

Bear looked up at him but didn't move. Jane couldn't really blame him. Still, he was determined to be the one in Lisbon's arms, so he poked and coaxed until Bear whuffed out a groan, got up, and shook himself.

"Bear," Lisbon muttered in protest.

"Good dog," Jane said as Bear went to the foot of the bed and began trying to nudge Zelda over so he could have the spot at Lisbon's feet.

"Mmm. You came back," Lisbon said, opening her eyes as he slid under the covers with her.

"I'll always come back," he replied. "And I'm going to tell you this again tomorrow when you're awake, but I don't love you less than I loved Angela. I was a different man then, vain, shallow, and selfish. So my love was vain, shallow, and selfish. I'm still selfish, but I know now what's really important in life. And I know that I can only be happy with you. So I'm going to do my best to make you happy so that I can be happy. That doesn't mean I'm going to turn into some martyr and chain myself to a life I don't want. I want this life we've built together, Teresa. For me, marriage is just the public display of the commitment we've already made. And I am fine with doing it now, or a year from now, or whenever you're ready. If you want to call the whole thing off and just go to a justice of the peace in Austin, that's okay."

"Is that what you want?"

"No. I want to marry you here, surrounded by people who care about you and want to see you happy. But I think from now on, you need to focus on what you want. You let me worry about what I want." He stroked her hair. "Okay? There's no room for martyrdom in marriage. That's not what I want or need from you."

She frowned. "I wasn't trying to be a martyr."

"You were so worried about what I wanted that you lost sight of what you wanted," he said. "Be selfish for once, Teresa. It's your turn. You don't need to worry that I'm going to turn into a doormat. I can safely promise you I won't."

She let out a long sigh. "I don't know what I want."

"That's okay."

"No, it's not. Not when half the town is planning a wedding for five days from now."

"So what? They aren't part of this marriage. You and I are. And I want to know that my bride is making her vows wholeheartedly and for the right reasons. I think I deserve that." That might be stretching the point, but he needed her to understand.

"Of course you do. And I do love you," she said softly.

"And you deserve to have your doubts put to rest before you make those vows. So don't worry about telling me what they are. I want to know so I can address them, okay? Don't worry about hurting my feelings. I'll get over it. And you'd have a very long way to go before you evened up the score on that."

"That's true," she said dryly.

He kissed the tip of her nose. "Well then. I'm sure Father Dowd will be pleased that we've done some of his work for him and ironed out our communications issues."

Lisbon gave a sleepy snort, but she tucked her nose against his cheek, so he knew she was willing to leave any other issues for the morning. He slid an arm around her and closed his eyes, content. He didn't care what tomorrow brought as long as tomorrow night found him back in her arms.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the delay! I got bogged down and then sick. Not good excuses, I know! And to those who've asked, yes, I am planning on taking this all the way through the wedding. Thanks for sticking with me!

**Chapter 4**

They spent the morning with Father Dowd going over the inventory. The priest apologized for not having had the chance to thoroughly familiarize himself with their answers as he normally would, and Lisbon realized that he was making a significant exception for them. "How long does this normally take?" she asked.

He smiled. "Several weeks or even months. Rushing into marriage is frowned upon, for many reasons. However, given your long history together, and the thought I know you have put into your relationship since your reunion, I believe there is no reason to deny your request to marry. Especially as your schedules may not permit a ceremony for quite some time if you miss this opportunity."

Jane said, "We appreciate that, Father. And for my part, I have no doubt that we can work through any areas of difficulty. At this point, there is no risk one of us will decide to abandon the other, so we really have no choice."

Lisbon gave him a sharp look, but Father Dowd smiled. "Before we delve into any issues, I must address something that has troubled me. Teresa, we have had many talks over the years about Patrick and your relationship with him. Some were under the seal of the confessional; some were merely conversations. But I admit I am not perfectly clear on which details came from which discussion in all cases. So I suggest we begin by Patrick giving me an account of your relationship from his perspective, which will no doubt cover much of the same ground."

Jane grimaced. "Or," he suggested, "Teresa could give you permission to use any information she has given you about me."

"Yes, she could. But in my view, it would be more helpful to hear your thoughts," Father Dowd smiled.

Jane glanced at Lisbon, who cringed a little. There was no good way to resolve this. She didn't want Jane to know how much she had confided in Father Dowd; she'd felt even at the time that she was invading his privacy, given how fiercely he guarded information about his past.

A little smile quirked Jane's lips upward for a moment as he looked at her, and she knew he knew exactly what she was worried about. She braced herself, but he surprised her.

"All right," Jane said. "I used to pretend to be a psychic, and in my arrogance I decided to help the police profile a serial killer. He took exception to my comments on his character on live television and killed my wife and daughter to teach me a lesson. He nearly destroyed me, but I survived by learning to live for revenge. As part of my quest, I looked up the detective who had the case, a CBI agent named Teresa Lisbon. I incited one of her agents to punch me, then told her boss I wouldn't sue in such a way as to make him terrified I would. He made her give me access to the case, but meanwhile she strong armed me into solving another case she was working. We came to a mutual realization that we'd have better luck catching the killer if we joined forces. So we did.

"For ten years we chased him, catching bad guys and getting to know each other. I knew she'd stopped being a mark to me the day someone threatened her with a gun and I picked up a rifle and blew a hole in him instead of the other dozen things I could have done to distract him that would have left him alive to tell me about Red John. Because nobody was ever going to take my family away from me again, and she had become my family. I tried for a long time to keep that a secret, even from her, but I did a shoddy job of it. Red John knew she was my weakness for years, and I was increasingly terrified he was going to kill her. But I killed him first. Then I had to flee the country to avoid arrest. I discovered that my life was completely pointless with neither revenge nor companionship to keep me going. So when the FBI offered me a deal so I could come home again, I took it. I came to find Teresa at the earliest possible moment and begged her to come help me. She graciously forgave me, despite this being merely the most egregious in my long list of sins against her, and I plan to spend the rest of my life making her happy."

Father Dowd nodded, taking it all in. There was nothing there he hadn't heard before, Lisbon knew, except the stuff about Tanner, which she rarely thought about and hadn't mentioned. The thought that Jane had had other options, that he could have done something other than kill Tanner, hadn't really occurred to her before. She'd just been grateful he'd found it in himself to pick up that gun and save her life. But now that she thought about it, he had found a way out of other tricky situations that didn't involve gunplay. Had that really been a deliberate choice?

No. She'd seen him afterward. She'd even thought that he regretted it, at least partly. The other options had probably only occurred to him later. Still, his confessing that he'd made an emotional decision for her sake warmed her heart. He was so calculating that she sometimes wondered about the depth of his love for her, especially now when he was determined to make things up to her. She couldn't rid herself of the fear that this determination would fade over time, leaving him restless and dissatisfied.

Father Dowd knew of her fears, of course, so he picked up on Jane's last statement. "I am sure you know that marriage must take into account the happiness of both parties."

Jane smiled. "I was just telling Teresa that last night. I'm not stupid enough to bind myself in marriage for any reason other than that I want to be married to her. I was married before, so I'm fully aware of what it means. And I still think I should get extra credit for previous experience."

Father Dowd shook his head, amused. "That would only apply if you had been married to Teresa before. Is she very like your late wife?"

Lisbon couldn't help looking at Jane, not expecting him to answer. She was surprised when he frowned thoughtfully, then said, "In some ways. There's not a physical resemblance, but I think one of the things that helped me to trust Lisbon was that she didn't fall for my charm and she saw right through my act. My wife—my first wife—was like that too. They both had effective ways of keeping me in line, though Angela's was less sarcastic."

He paused, leaning forward and clasping his hands together. "I was taught to listen to what people aren't saying every bit as much as what they are. To never trust a stated motive and always wonder what the real game is. But with Teresa, even though I often parse her words for the meaning underneath, I never have to wonder about her motives. I never worry that she will use me for selfish ends or purposely harm me, or let harm come to me. The only other person I have ever been able to trust like that is Angela. So that is the biggest similarity, for me. And I have spent all the years since we met both astonished and grateful to have known two such women in my life."

The smile he gave her made her a little misty eyed. She was touched to find that, at least in this one important respect, he held her to be Angela's equal. Maybe, she started to hope, this wouldn't be so painful after all.

mmm

Their session with Father Dowd lasted through a quick lunch until Jane had to leave for his tux fitting. Lisbon was grateful they'd gotten through it without Jane getting defensive or playing mind games with the priest, and she hoped he wasn't going to take it out on the formalwear shop staff. In her experience, Jane on his best behavior always meant trouble down the road.

Earlier that morning, she and Jane had agreed to divide up the phone calls that needed to be made. Since she needed to let her brothers know, she'd told him he could call their old team if he wanted. He'd seemed enthusiastic about it, and she was glad he was willing to embrace them as family since he had no one else. Her suggestion that he invite Pete and Sam had been met with hesitation; she gathered that he thought his carny friends wouldn't come anywhere near a gathering of law enforcement, even off duty.

Her brothers had reacted to her abrupt career change with, at best, mixed feelings. While they were proud of her for making it to the FBI, they were aware her new job was riskier than being tucked away in Cannon River—both in the sense that she encountered more dangerous criminals and that her job was once again partly dependent on Jane.

She had stressed to them when the CBI was disbanded that it was unfair to blame Jane for her sudden unemployment; she felt that she and her team should have been above suspicion since they'd exposed the conspiracy, and if Abbott hadn't been such a hard ass, he'd have brought them on board with the cleanup. But she had a feeling they hadn't entirely believed her. And James, at least, was going to see this marriage as proof that she'd been thoroughly brainwashed.

But she couldn't put it off, because she didn't want Jane around while she talked to them. She didn't want him to feel unwelcome in the Lisbon family. She took a deep breath and dialed Tommy's number.

mmm

Jane was in a good mood when he pulled up to the house. The fitting had gone well, and picking out a tux had helped him envision what it would be like to stand next to Lisbon at the altar, which made him happy. On the drive home, he'd had a lovely chat with Grace and gotten caught up with recent Rigsby history, and he hadn't had to wheedle even a little bit to secure Grace's promise to show up for the wedding. Unlike Cho, but that was just Cho being Cho.

"Teresa?" he called as he walked in the door.

"In here," she called from the kitchen, so he went in that direction, escorted by both dogs, who'd met him at the door. She smiled before taking a sip of her coffee, but he could see the lines of strain at the corners of her eyes.

He bent to kiss her cheek before sitting beside her. "How are your brothers?"

"Doing great. James just got a promotion. So he can't get the time off to come out here. Matt said he'd try, but I don't think he'll make it either. Tommy thought he might manage if a job doesn't come up."

Jane fantasized for a moment about gathering the Lisbon men in a room and explaining to them in detail why they should be eternally grateful for having the best woman in the world as their sister. Then hypnotizing them to act like it.

"I spoke to Grace. They're all coming up that morning."

"Oh, good. What about Cho?"

"He wants to hear it from you. Apparently I can't be trusted not to invite him to a fake wedding as part of some cunning scheme." Jane grinned.

Lisbon rolled her eyes and reached for her phone. "Cho. It's me. Yeah, it's true. No, I don't think so. Wait a sec." She pulled the phone from her ear and said, "Cho wants to know how he can be sure you haven't hypnotized me."

"I'm insulted that he thinks the only way I could convince you to marry me is by hypnotizing you," Jane said, making sure to pitch his voice so Cho could hear. "You can't hypnotize someone to act against their character, anyway."

Lisbon out the phone back to her ear, then smiled. "I appreciate that. Thanks. See you soon."

She hung up, then said, "If this isn't above board, Cho is going to hold you down while I beat the crap out of you."

"Good to know," Jane replied. "Though I really think if you haven't beaten me up by now, I'm probably safe."

"Don't bet on it. Leave me at the altar and it will be the last thing you do," she smiled.

"The only circumstances under which I would stand you up for our wedding involve terrorism, a tragic accident that induces amnesia, or one of your brothers kidnapping me and putting me on a slow boat to China," he promised.

Lisbon's smile faltered. "You don't need to worry about that last one."

"I suppose not. But we should make time to go visit soon. I may not be able to win over your brothers, but I can make your sisters-in-law think you have excellent taste in men." He gave her his big, fake smile, which made her chuckle.

"Oh, my brothers will really hate you then," she said.

"I'm afraid that will take me some time to overcome," he said, sobering. "I don't blame them, Teresa. I made a mess of your life generally before vanishing and leaving you to face the fallout alone. If someone else had done that to you, I'd want to beat him up myself."

Lisbon shrugged, taking another sip of her coffee. "But that's the thing. You'd never have let someone else do that. You'd have intervened, probably in some insanely complicated way. Just like you did when Bertram wanted to get rid of me after Timothy Carter. I know you never wanted anything bad to happen to me, Jane. And when it did you always tried to help, like with Volker. But you had to run after you killed Red John. The only alternative was prison after a long trial in which the prosecution would have dragged me and the team through the mud. Which would have wrecked my career way more than Abbott did."

"Ah, but I suppose the point there is that there would have been no mud to drag you through if I hadn't provided it."

"Well, it's over now," she said.

He reached for her hand. "Yes, it is. From now on I will confine my obsessive nature to your welfare and happiness."


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: **Thanks to all of you hanging in there with this! I can't believe we have to endure another hiatus, but at least they gave us a great episode first. A couple of reminders: in this universe Jane didn't write to Lisbon, and he wasn't safely tucked away in a friendly little town. So it is firmly AU. I hope you enjoy!

**Chapter 5**

Dinner with the Stephensons was far from the torture session Lisbon feared, but it certainly had its moments. This was their first attempt at socializing as a couple, and Lisbon had never before realized just how strange a couple they were. Even the simplest questions, like "How did you two meet?", were fraught with difficulties. "How long have you been dating?" was also a problem, since she counted it as roughly two months, while Jane wanted to add several years. Questions about their honeymoon plans revealed that Jane had grandiose ideas for their next vacation, while Lisbon was more inclined to say they weren't having one.

Actually, she hoped to barricade herself, Jane, and the dogs in the house for at least 24 hours without any interruption after the wedding. She liked her neighbors and fellow parishioners, but she didn't like being the focus of so much attention.

Jane, well aware of this, took on most of the conversational duties during dinner, which was a relief. But after dinner, Mrs. Stephenson took Lisbon up on her offer to help with the dishes, and she discovered that was a problem too.

"You're a quiet sort, aren't you, my dear?" the older lady asked gently as they scraped the plates clean.

"Am I?" Lisbon was a little startled; that wasn't how she saw herself.

"Your fiancé is doing most of the talking. He's very good at it." Mrs. Stephenson smiled.

"Yes, he is. In our work, he's the people expert. I guess I got used to letting him do the talking."

"Mm. Makes sense." They worked in silence for a moment, until Mrs. Stephenson said, "I only asked because, well, you know that can be an unhealthy thing. If he's always the one in control."

"He does have kind of a controlling nature," Lisbon admitted. "He's so smart it just comes naturally to him to try to direct things. But he doesn't try to control me, or at least, I don't let him. I can hold my own."

"I have no doubt, being a police chief and now an FBI agent. But sometimes smart, independent women can get sucked in before they realize it. My cousin was like that. I'm not saying Patrick is abusive, but—"

"I hear you," Lisbon said, swallowing her urge to leap straight to Jane's defense, aware that would do nothing to dispel her hostess' doubts. "I've seen that happen too. But I promise you, he's not like that. I could monopolize the conversation the rest of the night and he'd sit back and enjoy it."

"Would he? He seems to enjoy the spotlight."

"He does." Lisbon smiled. "He was raised to it. He made a living manipulating people when he was younger, and that's still part of what he does. But when he really cares about someone, he drops the act. Otherwise I wouldn't be marrying him."

Mrs. Stephenson nodded, putting the last plate in the dishwasher. "Good. There. Thanks for your help, Teresa. Shall we see what the boys are up to?"

They found the two men in a spare bedroom that doubled as a home office. Mr. Stephenson, an entomologist, was giving Jane a tour of his collection of bugs. He taught at the local community college and had authored a couple of books, one of which Jane was leafing through with apparent interest. He looked up as they entered, smiling broadly at Lisbon. "Come look at the interesting bugs, Teresa. They're all dead, so no need to be squeamish."

She made a face at him. "No thank you. I'll leave the creepy crawlies to you."

Mrs. Stephenson laughed. "I felt the same way forty years ago. They don't bother me now though."

Jane put down his book and stepped to Lisbon's side, putting an arm around her waist. "Don't worry. I'll catch you if you faint again."

"Are you ever going to let that go?" she demanded irritably.

"Probably not. I treasure the memory of you swooning into my arms," he chuckled. "You can be intimidating, you know. It helps to remember that you're not invincible."

Lisbon rolled her eyes. "Like you've ever been intimidated in your life. You just thought it was hilarious that I made a fool of myself on a case."

"Actually, at the time, I was mostly concerned with catching you so you wouldn't hit your head. And then I was worried you might be sick. I was demanding someone call an ambulance when you came around."

"I remember. That would just have made things worse," she complained.

"I was sure something was very wrong. Squeamishness did not occur to me as a cause until you sat up and shuddered." He tightened his arm around her. "You scared me."

"I did?" She looked at him in surprise. "You laughed at me."

"What else could I do? I couldn't let on how unnerved I was. There was the risk it would get back to Red John. I had visions of him locking you in a box full of bugs to torture you and making me watch."

She shivered. "Ugh. The things you think up!"

"Hunting monsters does that," he said, his expression grim.

She slid an arm around him and laid her head on his shoulder. "It's over now. You won."

"We won," he said, pressing a kiss into her hair.

Lisbon closed her eyes for a moment and savored the fact that after everything, they were here, together, with their future in front of them. When she opened her eyes, she saw the Stephensons beaming at them.

Mr. Stephenson said, "Father Dowd told us you'd had a hard road. Hopefully that means you'll have an easier time from here on out."

"I hope so," Jane agreed. "But whatever happens, we'll be together."

Lisbon smiled at him. "And together we can handle anything."

mmm

Unfortunately, they had to separate to accomplish all the wedding chores in between talking to Father Dowd. Lisbon had to find shoes to wear with her dress, and Jane had to find some to wear with his tux. They both had second fittings to go to. Jane took over the food supervision, charming the ladies who had volunteered to help with catering the reception, while Lisbon made arrangements for their guests who were staying overnight. She also negotiated with the local photographer, leaving the florist to Jane. And of course there were rings to be bought and a license to be obtained.

The night before the wedding, they collapsed into bed together, exhausted. The dogs hopped up and wanted attention before settling down.

"Do you feel neglected?" Jane asked Zelda as he gave her a vigorous ear rubbing. "I'm sorry, sweet girl. It'll all be over tomorrow."

"Thank God," Lisbon sighed, wrapping an arm around Bear as he snuggled beside her.

Jane gave Zelda one last chin scratch, then rolled over to kiss Lisbon. "I know this hasn't been the relaxing vacation we planned. Try to enjoy tomorrow, though, please."

"It's my fault. I'm the one who wanted to get married right away," she sighed. "I just hope everything goes okay."

"It will. The important thing is that we get married and spend some time with our friends, both old and new. And that both my girls don't get overwhelmed." He reached behind him and petted Zelda as he gave Lisbon another quick kiss.

"At least we have anti-anxiety meds for Zelda," Lisbon sighed.

"She won't need them." Jane sounded perfectly confident. "She's staying with me all day, and she's fine as long as she sees I am."

Lisbon was sure she'd be fine if she could be with him every minute too. But unfortunately that wouldn't be possible. "Maybe I could take the meds, then."

"Are you saying you need to be medicated to go through with it?" Jane was serious now. "Because I have a problem with that."

"No, I..." She paused to put her thoughts together. "I'm not nervous about marrying you. I don't think there's anything we haven't talked about these last few days. I just don't like all the pressure. I'm afraid when I come in and everybody stands up and stares at me, I'll want to run."

Jane stroked her hair. "Is it so different from speaking at a briefing or press conference?"

"Yeah. Then I'm speaking as part of my job. This isn't me as a cop; this is just plain ole Teresa Lisbon."

"Mm. And you don't think she's worth an appreciative stare? Because I do." He nuzzled behind her ear, planting whisper-soft kisses along her jaw.

"I feel like everybody will be judging me." She felt sillier the more she talked about it.

"I think that's a natural fear. I certainly know they'll be judging me. Cho and Rigsby probably have already concocted a plan to hide my body if I ever let you down."

"But you like the spotlight."

"I'm also extremely aware of its perils."

She rolled on her side so she could put her arms around him. "I know. I'm sorry," she murmured.

"Fortunately, everyone there tomorrow wishes us well," he whispered in her ear. "And in the end, what they think doesn't really matter. I will love you more tomorrow than today, just as I love you more today than yesterday. Even if you turn around and run back up that aisle, I'll still be hopelessly in love with you."

"I promise I won't do that to you," she said, swallowing hard as she imagined the expression on his face if she did. She didn't want to call it off, but if she did, it would be in private.

"I know." He pulled back to smile at her. "There's not a cowardly bone in your body." He kissed her leisurely, then gave her a sly grin. "Now, what shall we do on our last night living in sin?"

She grinned back. "What did you have in mind? Something sinful?"

"Oh, yeah. But the bed's a bit crowded for what I have in mind."

"I don't think the dogs'll go back out in the cold so soon," she pointed out.

"Then we'll leave them where they are and go someplace else. We could build a fire and make love beside it."

"You should have suggested that before I got comfortable," she grumbled. "How about we just get some sleep?"

"Saving yourself for the wedding night? How traditional of you." He kissed the tip of her nose, settling her more comfortably in his arms. "Wake me up if you change your mind."

She yawned, then tucked her head under his chin. "You bet."

mmm

Lisbon slept soundly for a while, but she woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't get back to sleep. She was vaguely troubled by some bad dream she couldn't remember, and once she started thinking about the wedding, her mind wouldn't let her relax again. With a sigh, she slid out of bed, leaving Jane to grumble a little, roll over, and throw an arm across Zelda. Both dogs lifted their heads to look at her, but Zelda was content to snuggle closer to Jane and go back to sleep. Bear got up and dutifully followed Lisbon as she went downstairs to pour herself some milk.

As the refrigerator door swung closed, she caught an odd area of white near the coffeemaker and flipped on the light over the sink to get a good look. It was an envelope, unsealed, with her first name on it in Jane's handwriting. She frowned, puzzled, and took out the letter inside.

_My dearest Teresa,_

_On this day, our wedding day, I want you to have this in writing: I love you. You have been the light in my life since we met, and it is my earnest hope to never be without you for a single day again._

_There are no words to express my astonishment and gratitude that you are willing to marry me, considering our history together. The pain I have repeatedly caused you is one of the two biggest regrets in my life. Or perhaps it is just part of the single biggest one: my arrogance, which cost me my first family and set me on a collision course with a killer. I want you to know that none of my mistreatment of you was because I did not value you or realize that you deserved better. I simply did not know how to keep you safe other than by keeping you at a distance, and when we drew close despite my resolve, I had to find ways to push us back apart._

_I know it may not help to know it, but I suffered from those times when we were at odds. Perhaps not as much as you did, because I understood why. But please know that I did not escape unscathed. The look in your eyes when you thought I held your friendship lightly haunts me even today. I will never forgive myself for those moments, especially that sunset on the cliff when I tried to tell you how much you meant to me and then cast doubt on my words by abandoning you. I was too afraid to take you with me, my dear. What if I had? What if you had died in that explosion, or been hurt or killed some other way? I could not face the possibility, but it was my weakness, not a lack of confidence in you._

_Over the past several days we have exhaustively explored our relationship, so we are both aware of most of the pitfalls that may lie along our way. I cannot blame you for harboring fears that I might find myself in a position where I must leave you. Only time will assuage that fear, but I want to put this in writing: I am committed to you. You are my priority. I will never knowingly cause you pain or grief again._

_This is true even before we marry, but I hope that when I put that ring on your finger, you will remember the lengths to which I went to honor the promises I made when I received my first ring. I will go to whatever lengths necessary to keep you safe and happy. There is nothing I will ever put above that goal._

_For the rest of your life, I hope you wake every day with the knowledge that you are loved, deeply and truly, beyond all reason. If one day I am not with you to tell you that, I hope you will keep this letter as a reminder. It is true today and all the days to come, no matter what happens._

_Your love is unspeakably precious to me and I will strive to be worthy of it, as I strive to love you as you deserve. I doubt I can succeed at either, but I promise you I will never stop trying. You make me want to be better than I am, and that is a gift. I have nothing of equal value to offer you, but everything I do have is yours._

_If at some point today you should find yourself doubting the wisdom of this ceremony, please re-read this letter and know that the moment I put the ring on your finger and promise myself to you will be indelibly imprinted on my mind as a moment of perfect happiness. Those are rare, and should be cherished. I hope you will look back on it as one of the best moments of your life, as I will._

_Thank you. Thank you for all the times you have stood by me, defended me, comforted me, and forgiven me. But thank you most of all for loving me and for taking this next step with me. You are a rare and precious soul, and I treasure your presence in my life and in my heart. There are no words adequate to convey exactly how much, so I will stick to the tried and true: I love you._

_I am honored to be the man you have chosen to marry. And I can't wait to lift that veil and see your beautiful honest eyes glowing with happiness and love._

_You are my alpha, and I am grateful to be spending the rest of my life in your pack._

_All my love,  
Patrick_

Lisbon wiped at her eyes as she finished reading. She held the letter against her heart for a moment and thought how grateful she was that Jane knew exactly what she would need today and made sure she had it.

She wondered what it was he needed today and how she could give it to him. They'd spent some of their time with Father Dowd talking about what it meant that this was a second marriage for Jane. She knew the ceremony would evoke memories for him, some probably painful. She knew there might be times she would inadvertently do or say things that would remind him of his first wife, either by similarity or contrast.

For a moment she considered writing him a letter too, but that wasn't her talent. It would pale in comparison, because she didn't have Jane's way with words. Actions were more her area of expertise.

Well, she had several hours to think about it, she thought as she finished her milk. She might as well go back to bed, where it was warm and Jane wouldn't worry about her if he woke.

She went back upstairs, Bear padding along behind her. As she reached the bed, she took a moment to look at Jane in the moonlight. She could only see him in profile since he was lying on his side, his arm around Zelda, whose tail wagged gently in greeting as Lisbon approached. Asleep in the dim light, he looked younger, the lines in his face less visible. He looked more like he had when they met, which she found a little disconcerting. She realized how much their years together—and apart—had marked him. That shared history was precious to her. He was not, she knew, the slick performer Angela had married. This man knew pain and hardship and sacrifice, and his love for her had been forged in the fires of his own personal hell. That was part of what made it endure.

She bent to kiss his forehead, smiling as he murmured her name, and then gave Zelda a pat before going to her side of the bed. Bear climbed in behind her, settling between her and the edge of the bed as she snuggled up to Jane's back. She slowly relaxed, comforted by the knowledge that her little family was safe and warm on this winter's night.

mmm

Jane woke at first light, blinking and yawning. Turning on his back, he found Lisbon huddled under the covers, only her hair showing, and he chuckled a little before leaning to press a kiss into the tangled curls.

"Breakfast? Huh?" he whispered to the dogs, who lifted their heads and wagged their tails. When he moved to get up, Zelda immediately jumped down so he could slide out of bed. Bear whined a little, not wanting to leave Lisbon on her own, but he joined Jane and Zelda before they were halfway down the stairs.

It took only a moment to open the cans of food and fill the dogs' dishes, and then Jane put the kettle on. When the dogs were done, he let them out into the backyard, thinking he would take them on a long walk this morning to make sure they didn't have the energy for mischief during the wedding.

He was halfway through his cup of tea when Bear barked to be let back in. By the time he'd finished wiping paws, it was no longer the perfect temperature, so he set about brewing a new cup. Glancing at the clock, he decided it probably wouldn't wake Lisbon if he started his eggs. Since his letter was gone, he knew she'd been up in the night, which didn't surprise him. She was anxious about today, for reasons she admitted to and some she didn't.

He'd been somewhat surprised to hear her tell Father Dowd that she didn't want a marriage like her parents'. Although to her young eyes they seemed happy, with an adult perspective she could see that her mother had carried a heavy burden, not only working full time, but also bearing responsibility for the house and the kids. Jane had tried to reassure her that he didn't mind doing housework and enjoyed cooking, but she still seemed to have a half-conscious fear that she was falling into a trap she'd always sworn to avoid. As if he was going to turn into some fifties stereotype and demand that she bring him his pipe and slippers when he got home from work. He snorted at the image.

He was just finishing his eggs when Lisbon wandered into the kitchen, hair a glorious mess and eyes blinking as she tried to wake up fully. Jane switched on the coffeemaker and stole a quick good-morning kiss. "Happy wedding day," he whispered to her.

She smiled. "Happy wedding day. Thank you for the letter. It was beautiful." She balanced herself with a hand on his chest as she went on tiptoe to kiss him, and he quickly steadied her by wrapping his arms around her tiny waist.

"Mm," he said when they parted. "A lovely way to start the day. Eggs, dear?"

"No, sit and eat. I just want some coffee and a bagel."

That was the sign of a nervous stomach, he thought. "You'll do better with some protein in you."

"Later. I'll eat a good lunch. I promise."

He'd hold her to that, he resolved. "I'm going to take the dogs for a long walk after breakfast," he remarked. "Work off some of their energy."

"Great idea. I'll come too," she said. "Did it snow some more last night?"

"I think so. Just a dusting though; nothing to interfere with anybody's travel plans."

"Mm."

He smiled, recognizing that she'd reached her conversational limit until she'd had coffee. Devoting his attention to his breakfast, he listened to her hum a little as she put a bagel in the toaster and rummaged in the fridge for cream cheese. A few minutes later, she sat beside him, sipping at her coffee and preparing her bagel.

"I wish I could read you as well as you read me," she said out of the blue.

"Do you? Why?" He was pretty sure that would not be a good thing.

"So I could give you what you need without asking you what that is. I've wracked my brain, but I don't know how to make this day easier for you," she admitted with a sigh. "Please tell me."

"There's only one thing I want for this day, and that's to marry you," he replied. "Which isn't a hard thing for me, so it doesn't need to be made easier."

"And you...aren't sad thinking about your first wedding?"

He sipped his tea. "Not yet. I'm sure I will be at some point, a little. Maybe when I'm getting dressed. But this is a very different atmosphere from my first wedding. We weren't in a church, and the whole bailing Danny out thing threw off our schedule a little. Plus, I was young, and I felt like this was finally going to make everyone see me as a grown-up, not the Boy Wonder. And it was the start of our big escape from the carnie life. I was pretty worked up, now that I think about it."

"And you're not now." It wasn't a question, but she was looking at him curiously, so he tried to explain.

"This feels so natural. It's not some big leap; it's just the next step in our life together. I'm excited and happy, but I'm not nervous. Why would I be? I've wanted this for a long time." It occurred to him that maybe part of her nerves was because she hadn't. She hadn't given herself time to get used to the idea, either. He wondered for the hundredth time if this hurried ceremony was a mistake.

Very softly, she said, "So have I."

"Really?" He hid his skepticism and surprise, letting only his pleasure show.

"Yeah. I mean, I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about it, because it seemed impossible." She was staring into her coffee, but she glanced up at him and smiled ruefully. "But I wanted to be with you. No matter how impossible it was. And that wouldn't go away, even after all these years. I guess I still can't quite believe it's all real."

"I'm happy to pinch you anytime," he grinned.

She kicked him under the table, but not hard, as she finished her bagel. "I'm happy to pinch you back," she said when she finished chewing.

Jane chuckled. He'd take snarky, violent Lisbon over nervous, insecure Lisbon any day of the week. "Hm. I'm not sure I dare take you out into the cold if you're already cranky."

"No, I want to go. I want some quiet time with just us. Give me a minute to put on some warm clothes." She got up from the table and hurried upstairs.

Jane took care of the dishes, then went upstairs to get dressed himself as the dogs took up their posts by the front door.

mmm

The woods were gorgeous in the snow, and as they walked Jane savored the feel of Lisbon's small, strong hand in his, even separated by gloves. The dogs enjoyed themselves, sniffing out trails and inspecting bushes and trees. The world was silent except for the sounds the four of them made, and Jane tucked this moment away to revisit the next time he needed to center himself. He hoped Lisbon was doing the same.

"It's beautiful here," Jane said. This was the first time they'd ventured this deep into the woods.

"Yes, it is. You should see it in the spring and summer. I used to walk Bear out here all the time and enjoy the quiet." She paused, then said, "Sometimes, when I really missed you, I'd imagine you here with me. I'd try to guess what you'd say, what you'd notice. I just...I'm so glad you're really here."

He squeezed her hand. "So am I. I used to do the same thing, you know. I'd imagine you with me, on a beach or my rundown shack, and think about what you'd say. Sometimes, if I hadn't been sleeping, I could hear your voice, telling me to take better care of myself or watch out for suspicious characters."

"Did you listen?" she asked, looking curiously at him.

"Not nearly often enough." He gave a derisive snort. "But I think it's telling that my subconscious thought I would."

She tugged on his hand to make him stop, then put her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. Her voice was muffled by the coat as she said, "I'm so glad you didn't get yourself killed. If you'd died I would have spent the rest of my life hoping you'd turn up someday. And if I found out you were dead, it would have broken my heart."

He wrapped his arms around her, ignoring the dogs tugging on their leashes. "I know. I'm sorry, darling. But I did come back to you, as soon as I could."

"I know."

He knew what she needed to hear; he just wondered how often he was going to have to say it before she really believed him. "I'm never leaving you. Not for a day, not for an hour if I can help it."

She hugged him, then stepped back. "Well, today you have to. It'll take at least an hour to get me in that dress and my hair and makeup done, according to Mrs. Halloran. She's got somebody from the beauty school coming over to glam me up."

Jane was both amused and appalled. "As long as I recognize you when we get to the altar. Maybe we need a code word."

She chuckled. "Funny. The dogs'll know me."

"True. Zelda wouldn't let a stranger walk up to us without letting me know. Would you, sweet girl?" He reached down to pet Zelda, who had come over to sit beside him, leaving the exploring to Bear. "I have a date with the local barber, and apparently there's a groomer in town who's going to make Bear outshine me."

"What about Zelda?" she asked, frowning.

"We'll see. You know how she is with strangers; I'm not sure she'll be comfortable being handled, even with me there. But I promise she'll at least get brushed." Jane had a flash of self-awareness about his attraction to feisty brunettes who needed careful handling and had to be coaxed into showing their affection.

"I guess we better head back," Lisbon said, obviously starting to think about everything they had to do before the wedding, to judge by the furrow between her eyebrows.

Jane caught her hand as she turned, planting a kiss on that worried wrinkle. "I love you. And I am the happiest man in the world today."

She smiled. "I love you too, and I can't imagine being happier than I am today."

They started walking again, hand in hand while the dogs frisked around them, toward their future.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the delay in updating this! I got distracted by my other multi-chapter for a while. But I never leave anything unfinished. Thanks for hanging in there! And, um, I warned you this was a cheesy story, right? Because this chapter is downright sappy.

**Chapter 6**

When they came in sight of the house, they saw a car in the driveway with California plates. Lisbon quickened her pace as they heard a child's laughter, and soon she saw Ben and Rigsby making a miniature snowman in the side yard. Bear caught sight of them at the same time and barked, not liking people being in his yard without permission.

"It's okay, Bear," she said quickly. "You remember Wayne and Ben."

"Bear!" Ben shouted, running toward them. Zelda let out a nervous whine but stood her ground, shifting closer to Jane, and he reached down and patted her reassuringly.

Bear frisked a few steps ahead, tail wagging frantically, to meet Ben, who threw his arms around the dog. Rigsby caught up a moment later, grinning at them. "Good to see you, Boss," he said to Lisbon.

"Wayne, I'm not your boss anymore," she smiled.

Rigsby turned to Jane. "Good to see you too, man."

"You too, Rigsby," Jane smiled, pulling the bigger man into a bear hug. Then he bent to speak to Ben. "Hey there. I bet you don't remember me, do you?"

The boy shook his head. Jane said, "I'm Patrick. I used to work with your dad. Hey, you haven't met Zelda yet, have you? Zelda, this is Ben Rigsby. Ben, this is Zelda."

Lisbon looked around. "Where's Grace?"

"Maddie's got an earache. They're back at the B&B. We'll all be at the wedding though, don't worry," he promised. "Anything I can help with?"

"I think we have things in hand," Jane said. "We were just going to grab a light lunch before heading over to the church. Come on in and join us. Does Grace need anything?"

"Yeah, she gave me a list of things to pick up at the drugstore," Rigsby said. "We passed one on our way into town."

"Oh, not that one," Lisbon said. "I'll show you the better place to go. Maybe we should go do that now? We have time."

"I don't want to impose. I know you have a ton of stuff to do this morning," Rigsby said.

"Nonsense. You're our guest," Jane chimed in. "Ben and I can stay and look after the dogs, if he wants."

Lisbon smiled as she looked down to find Ben and Zelda making friends. "What do you say, Ben? Hey, I haven't gotten my hug yet, young man." She bent down to claim it. "Do you want to stay here and make sure Jane and the dogs behave?"

"Who's Jane?" Ben asked, his face scrunching in confusion.

"Me," Jane said. "It's my last name."

"But that's a girl's name."

"Not always," Jane replied. "But you can call me Patrick. Hey, do you like magic tricks?"

"Yeah!"

Rigsby leaned in and murmured, "Go easy, and no gambling or his mom will kill me!"

"Relax. I work for the FBI now," Jane grinned.

"Right." Rigsby looked thoroughly unconvinced.

Lisbon said, "And he's marrying an FBI agent who will be filing for divorce if he gets himself put in jail."

Jane smiled and leaned in to give her a quick kiss. "That'll keep me in line for sure. Come on, young Mr. Rigsby. I'll show you how to dry off dog paws."

mmm

Lisbon was glad for the distraction as she directed Rigsby to the drug store, helped with his list of items, and then navigated him back to the B&B. Grace welcomed her with a broad smile and a demand for details as Rigsby gave little Maddie her medicine, and an hour later they headed back to the house.

Jane gave Grace a big hug and told her that motherhood became her, then asked to hold Maddie. Rigsby handed her over, and Jane beamed down at the baby.

Lisbon felt a pang at the sight. How could a man who loved children so much decide not to have more of his own? Was he really afraid he wouldn't be able to protect them? Did he believe she didn't want them or might risk her health trying to have them? Would he really be content with just her and the dogs?

Jane looked up just then, and she tried to keep her thoughts off her face. He smiled gently at her, then handed Maddie back to her mother. "Don't worry," he told Grace. "She'll grow into her looks, I can tell. She'll have the boys following her around in a herd."

Grace, who hadn't voiced any such concerns, looked taken aback, but quickly gave a relieved smile. "You think so?"

"I know so. Poor Charlotte favored me at this age too, but by the time she could walk she was a beautiful little copy of her mother," Jane told her.

"Hey," Rigsby said. "I think I was just insulted."

Jane chuckled. "Not in the least. Fair is fair, Rigsby, and it's obvious Ben is going to take after you. Naturally Grace wants Maddie to take after her."

Grace asked, "So when can we expect to be debating who your baby looks like?"

Jane shook his head. "We'll let you know if the opportunity arises. Today, we're just focused on getting married. Did Lisbon point out the church?"

"Yes," Grace said. "We'll be there. Are you sure you don't need any help?"

"The whole town is in on this wedding," Jane said. "We have a little too much help, if anything. Just relax and enjoy yourselves."

Rigsby asked, "When's Cho getting here?"

"He should have already landed at SeaTac," Jane said. "He said he'd grab lunch on the way. What would everyone like?"

mmm

Two hours later, Lisbon found herself staring at a near-stranger in the mirror. She usually favored a natural look, but the beauty school teacher insisted she needed heavier eye makeup and brighter lipstick since she'd be wearing a veil. And she definitely wasn't used to wearing an up-do.

Mrs. Halloran beamed. "You are so beautiful, my dear. Now let's get you in your dress so the photographer can get started."

Lisbon felt her stomach erupt in jittery butterflies, and she reached toward the desk to rest her fingertips briefly on Jane's letter before standing. "Okay."

She definitely wasn't used to having someone help her dress—or to wearing so much dress. When Mrs. Halloran finished, Lisbon definitely was looking at a stranger in the mirror. A stranger who was about to marry Patrick Jane.

"Perfect," Mrs. Halloran said, clasping her hands and looking a little misty-eyed. "Oh, my dear. I am so pleased for you. I hope this day is everything you've dreamed of."

Lisbon couldn't really remember what she'd dreamed of for her wedding day. She hadn't thought about it since her mother died. And she realized that what was missing today was something of her mother's. And her brothers, of course, but that couldn't be helped.

"What's the matter, dear?" Mrs. Halloran asked, looking concerned.

"I was thinking about my mother," Lisbon admitted.

"Oh, of course you are." Mrs. Halloran's voice was rich with sympathy. "Do you have anything of hers you could wear or carry today?"

Lisbon shook her head, reluctant to explain that her father had gotten rid of all her mother's things, not wanting reminders. She hadn't been fast enough to dig anything out of the trash without being caught. The only things her mother had loved that had survived were household goods and a few decorative items, nothing Lisbon could carry.

"Well, that's too bad. I'm sorry." Mrs. Halloran kindly turned away for a moment to tidy up some of the things she'd taken out of her sewing kit in case they were needed.

Lisbon took a deep breath and wiped at her eyes. When she was sure her voice would be steady, she said, "Thanks for all your help, Mrs. Halloran. I can't tell you how grateful I am for everything you've done, and especially for the dress."

"It has truly been my pleasure, Teresa. I hope you and Patrick will be very happy. I feel sure you will make a success of your marriage." She smiled. "That gown was part of the start of one very happy marriage, and I'm glad it will now be part of another."

"I am too," Lisbon said. She and Jane had loved each other through some very bad times, and she felt confident there was nothing ahead they couldn't endure.

There was a knock on the door, and Lisbon, expecting the photographer, called, "Come in!" Then she gave a gasp of surprise. "Tommy! Annie! You made it!"

"Annie insisted," Tommy grinned, coming to give her a hug. "Wow. You look amazing."

"Thanks." Lisbon hugged back, then reached for Annie. "I'm so glad you're here."

Annie pulled back after the hug and grinned. "You don't look like a badass cop at all."

"Don't be fooled," Lisbon said. "I can still take down a bad guy if I have to."

Mrs. Halloran headed for the door. "I'll just go see what happened with Michael. He probably had to go back for a lens or something."

"When did you get here?" Lisbon asked her brother.

"Just now. I'm kinda hoping you'll put us up for the night," he replied a little sheepishly.

"Of course," Lisbon said automatically.

"Great." Tommy shuffled his feet for a moment, then pulled something out of his pocket. "Uh, I brought you this."

Lisbon stared in amazement as he handed her an old-fashioned pearl ring she recognized as one of her mother's. "How did you get this?" she asked breathlessly.

"Well, that night, you know, after dad passed out, I snuck out to the trash and found it. I just wanted something to remember her by, you know? And I figured he'd worn himself out hitting you so it was safe." He shrugged, obviously ashamed of his younger self. "And I thought you should have it today."

Lisbon slid it onto her right ring finger, her vision blurring. "Thank you," she whispered.

Annie broke the awkward silence by grabbing Lisbon's left hand. "Great ring!" she exclaimed. "So blondie has taste. Well, I mean, of course he does, since he's marrying you, right?"

Lisbon gave a watery chuckle. "I guess so."

"So where's this dog you keep talking about?" Annie demanded.

"With the groomer," Lisbon replied. "Oh, we have two now. You'll meet them both. I can't wait to—" She broke off at another knock on the door.

Mrs. Halloran stuck her head in. "We're ready for you, dear. I'll make sure your guests get a good seat."

"Thanks. Tommy, Annie, this is my neighbor, Mrs. Halloran. This is my brother and his daughter," Lisbon said quickly.

"See you soon," Tommy said, kissing her cheek. "Love you."

"Love you too," Lisbon called after them. Then she grabbed her bouquet and went out into the hall, where the photographer was waiting to conduct her to the chapel.

Getting her picture taken was another strange experience, and Lisbon was relieved when Bear came trotting in, pulling Ben on the end of his leash. "Bear!" she scolded. "What are you doing here?"

"He wants to be in the pictures," Ben explained.

Michael, the photographer, smiled. "Great idea. Let's get all three of you."

Lisbon bent to hug Ben and pet Bear, who was freshly groomed and sporting a big white bow on his collar. Michael snapped photo after photo as Ben gave her a hug back and Bear tried to lick her face.

"Down, boy," she chided, rubbing the top of his head. He shook himself, and a little piece of paper fell out of his bow. Lisbon smiled a little as she unfolded it and saw Jane's handwriting.

_Don't be late. I love you._

Lisbon folded the note back up and tucked it into her bouquet, then hugged Bear. "Thanks boy," she whispered.

mmm

When the photography session was over, it was almost time for the wedding. While Michael got set up in the sanctuary, Lisbon walked Ben to the doors, taking care to stay out of sight. "Thanks for helping with the photos," she told him. "Go sit with your dad, okay?"

"Okay," he replied happily, practically running down the aisle.

Bear started to follow, but obeyed Lisbon's command to sit. She hoped she wouldn't have long to wait, since she was only getting more nervous. Maybe she should have asked Tommy to walk her down the aisle.

A moment later, Cho came out of the sanctuary and looked around, smiling as he saw her. He turned and gave a thumbs up to someone inside, then said, "Looking good. Need anything?"

"No. I'm glad you're here," she told him. There was always something bracing about Cho's presence.

"Wouldn't miss it," he replied, then went back inside.

Seconds later, the organist began playing the wedding march, and Lisbon took a deep breath. "Okay, boy. Let's go," she whispered.

Bear started out walking obediently by her side, unfazed by the people standing in the pews. But then he caught sight of Jane and Zelda standing with Father Dowd and began trotting, tail wagging eagerly as he anticipated having their pack all together again.

Lisbon was aware that Bear had left her behind, but her gaze was fixed on Jane. He was breathtaking in his tux and blinding smile, calming her nerves and letting her feel the happiness bubbling up in her. She smiled back at him as she walked down the aisle.

Bear had reached Jane and was nudging his hand with his nose, wanting petted. When that didn't work, Bear let out a short bark that echoed in the vaulted space, causing a ripple of laughter in the audience. Jane tore his eyes from Lisbon and looked down, shushing the dog.

Lisbon tried not to be obvious about hurrying the rest of the way. Bear and Zelda wagged their tails as she approached, and she thought that if Jane had one, he'd be joining them. Father Dowd smiled encouragingly at her as she arrived.

There was one awkward moment when Lisbon realized she had no one to hand her bouquet to, but Annie darted forward and took it before she had time to panic.

The ceremony went by in a blur. Certain moments stood out: Jane whispering to her that she was beautiful as he lifted the veil from her face, the squeeze he gave her as they joined hands, and the sheen of moisture in his eyes as he said his vows. Then their lips were meeting in a chaste but heartfelt kiss, and she was now Teresa Lisbon Jane, a wife. A whole new identity, she realized in amazement. And yet the important things were still the same.

Turning to face their guests, they paused for a moment to look at the happy faces. Annie stepped forward to give back the bouquet and whispered, "Congratulations, Aunt Reese."

"Thanks," Lisbon whispered back, taking the bouquet in her right hand as Jane tucked her left through his arm, patting it affectionately.

"Shall we go, my darling wife?" he murmured in her ear.

She smiled up at him. "Whither thou goest, I will go," she replied.

mmm

Jane's heart practically sang as he led Lisbon up the aisle, the dogs trotting along behind them. Everything had gone perfectly, and they were married with their friends and even some family for witnesses. He was thrilled that Tommy and Annie had shown up and resolved to do something nice for his new brother-in-law and niece.

Part of him was surprised that Lisbon had gone through with it. Whatever doubts she'd had beforehand were gone, though, judging by her smile.

When they reached the narthex, Jane pulled his new wife into his arms and kissed her thoroughly. "You make me very happy," he told her.

She smiled, her eyes sparkling with joy. "You make me happy too," she said. Then she grinned. "And I'm glad you're in a good mood, because I promised to put Tommy and Annie up for the night."

"I'll spring for their room at the B&B," he said. "Because we are not having guests in the house tonight."

"Oh? You have other plans?" she teased.

"Oh, yes. You and I are going to be very busy," he told her, leaning close so he could lower his voice as their guests began exiting the sanctuary. "We are going to spend all night consummating this marriage. Repeatedly."

Zelda pressed against his leg, worried by all the people she didn't know. He reached down to pet her while Bear did his duty as a member of the wedding party by greeting the guests. "Thank you all for coming," Jane said, pitching his voice to carry. "Please join us for the reception, down the hall and to your left. Thank you."

He reclaimed Lisbon's hand and led the way. He also did most of the talking in the receiving line, since Lisbon seemed a little dazed.

Cho was one of the last ones through, having spent some time on his phone outside. He gave Lisbon a hug and smile, but when he got to Jane he said, "Does Abbott know about this?"

"What do you think?" Jane replied. "I didn't know we were getting married today when we left Austin. And Lisbon didn't know we were getting married at all."

"Uh huh," Cho said. "Well, he wants us back at work. Case in Seattle. He and Fischer are flying up tonight. They expect to meet us there in a few hours."

Jane felt Lisbon tense up beside him, and he decided to put his foot down. "No. This is our wedding night. I'm not spending it working. We'll go to Seattle tomorrow."

"Jane," Lisbon began to protest.

"Forget it," he insisted. "You want to spend our wedding night with Abbott and Fischer?"

"No, but—"

"Run out on all our guests?"

"Of course not."

"And what are we supposed to do with the dogs?" he pointed out.

Lisbon looked around the room, then waved at someone. "Topaz," she greeted the woman with dreamy eyes who approached. "Can you watch Bear and Zelda for a few days? You still have my house key, right?"

"Sure," Topaz replied.

Jane said, "Zelda isn't good with strangers."

Topaz smiled, then beamed at Zelda. "Oh, I'm not a stranger. Lucky girl, aren't you, with a bright new life after some tough times? Hm?"

Zelda sidled up to Topaz and allowed herself to be petted. Lisbon smiled. "Problem solved."

"We'll leave in the morning," Jane said. "Tonight is for us."

Cho nodded. "I'll tell Abbott you got held up and can't make it until tomorrow. Consider it a wedding gift. But I'm not telling him you got hitched. That's up to you."

"Fair enough," Jane said.

"Thanks, Cho," Lisbon said warmly.

Jane let go of his irritation at the FBI's intrusion into their wedding day and decided to enjoy himself while he could. Bright new life after some tough times indeed, he thought. Zelda wasn't the only lucky one.

Lisbon leaned up to whisper into his ear. "What do I have to do to get you to tell Abbott we got married?"

He grinned down at her. "I'll let you know after we're in bed."


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: **And here we are, at the end of what was supposed to be a short little holiday story. Thanks for sticking with this universe and for all your support, especially those of you who took the time to let me know what you thought. It means more than I can say!

**Chapter 7**

Lisbon was relieved when it was time for them to leave the reception. Her feet hurt, and she'd barely had a chance to eat any of the delicious looking food, though Jane had made a valiant attempt to feed her something other than the bite of cake he'd gently placed in her mouth while the photographer snapped twenty pictures. There were so many people who wanted to speak to her that Jane ended up slipping most of the treats to the dogs.

As they made their way toward the door, Jane paused to invite Tommy and Annie and the Rigsby family to breakfast, and she smiled. "Yes, please come," she added. "We have a ton of food to use up. Mrs. Malone won't mind if you skip her breakfast."

"Or you could just eat both," Jane grinned at Rigsby, who grinned back. "Seven o'clock. Don't be late or the dogs get the bacon!"

Grace rolled her eyes. "It's not any better for them than it is for you," she remarked.

"No worries, Grace. I have fruit, as well as some homemade granola and Greek yogurt for those who prefer a less indulgent start to their day," Jane said.

Lisbon said, "His granola is amazing. Thanks for coming, guys."

"We wouldn't have missed it," Annie said. "Hey, what do people do for fun in this town on New Year's Eve?"

"Go home and stay warm, mostly," Lisbon said. "See you in the morning. And happy New Year!"

After a flurry of New Year's well wishes, Jane took her hand, and they made their way to the coat closet. He helped bundle her up in her coat after shrugging into his. The dogs circled them eagerly, knowing what coats meant. "Ready?" he asked her, putting his gloves on.

"Past ready," she said.

"I told you new shoes were a bad idea," he reminded her.

"It was new shoes or old boots," she grumbled.

"I would happily have married you in old boots," Jane smiled, stealing a kiss. "Or barefoot, come to that. Shall I go get the car and pick you up?"

"I'm not crippled," Lisbon retorted, gathering up her skirt so it wouldn't drag in the snow.

"No, but you now have a husband to send out into the cold and spare your poor little feet stuck in those white satin pumps completely unsuitable for trekking in the snow," Jane said.

Lisbon wondered if this was the kind of thing he'd done for Angela. The idea that Jane had a whole bag of husbandly tricks up his sleeve was a little disconcerting. "If it means that much to you, go for it," she said. He was right about the shoes, after all.

"Bear, stay," Jane ordered. "Zelda, come on, girl."

Bear whined a little as Jane and Zelda went out the door, but he soon forgot his unhappiness as Lisbon bent to scratch under his chin. "Such a good dog," she cooed. "You liked posing for all those pictures, didn't you? Just like Jane. My golden boys."

Bear gave her his big doggy grin, wagging his tail gently as he soaked up her attention. She realized guiltily that he hadn't had much one-on-one time with her since Jane had come back into her life. It had only been a few months ago that it was just the two of them, leading their quiet life in this sleepy town. Back then she couldn't have guessed how her year would end.

"Big changes, huh?" she murmured. "Good ones though, right?" She was happier with Jane in her life, not to mention a more challenging job. But sometimes she missed coming home to her snug house and sitting in front of the fire with a glass of wine and Bear. Being on the road so much again was hard to get used to, though at least she could climb into bed with Jane in whatever motel they ended up at. And now that they were married, they wouldn't even have to pretend they were sleeping in separate rooms.

She wasn't looking forward to telling Abbott and Fischer about their hasty marriage, but if Jane was willing to give her curbside service, surely she could talk him into breaking the news. He'd probably even enjoy it, since making people uncomfortable was one of his favorite pastimes.

Bear dashed to the door, and Lisbon realized in amazement that Jane had parked the car and was coming back in to escort her. She shook her head at him with a smile as he ushered her out with a hand on her back, opened the car door for her, and helped her gather her skirt inside before shutting the door for her and making sure Bear and Zelda got settled in the back seat.

"Is this special occasion treatment," she asked as he got back in the car with an exaggerated shiver, "or can I expect this all the time?"

Jane smiled at her. "Do you want this all the time? Because I'd enjoy giving you a hand out of the van in your Kevlar vest and a gentlemanly peck on the cheek before you go off to storm a rundown house and tackle a bad guy."

Lisbon snorted in amusement at the image. "Let's keep the husband and wife stuff for our personal life. At work, we're professionals. Or at least, I am."

Jane reached for her hand as he pulled out of the parking lot. "If you wish, my dear. I warn you, I am looking forward to spoiling you outrageously. I've had years to think of all the things I'd like to do for you."

She was dismayed to realize she couldn't tell him the same. "You might have to help me out with what you want me to do for you."

"You gave me back my teacup, came to the FBI to work with me, and bought me wonderful and thoughtful things I needed for Christmas. Not to mention welcoming me into your life and making a home with me." He squeezed her hand. "What more could I possibly ask for?"

"I'm sure you can think of something. And when you do, I hope you'll tell me," Lisbon replied.

"I'll let you know," he said. "Meanwhile, put your mind at rest. I have already decided how to break the news to our colleagues."

"Thank you. I thought you were going to make me work for that," she admitted, smiling.

"Teresa, this is our wedding night. It should be about nothing but our love for each other and our joy at being together," he said. "I'm sure we'll have time for bribery in bed at some future point in our marriage. Along with angry sex, makeup sex, and comfort sex. I look forward to them all. But not tonight."

She nodded, glancing at him. He met her gaze briefly, then returned his attention to the road, lifting her hand to his lips.

They were silent for the few minutes more it took them to get home. After Jane parked the car, he let the dogs out. They were overjoyed to be home again, frisking around the front yard and taking turns peeing on the bushes near the house. Lisbon opened her car door but hardly had time to struggle with her skirt before Jane was there to offer her a hand.

All four of them went into the house, Lisbon sighing in relief as she kicked off her pumps. Jane led the dogs to the kitchen for treats and drinks, then removed their somewhat bedraggled bows and let them into the back yard since they'd been cooped up inside all afternoon.

"Dinner?" he asked as she came into the kitchen.

"I need to get changed first."

Jane glanced down at his rented tux. "So do I. Come on." He held out a hand to her, giving her a sly smile. "I might need some help. And I'm betting you do, too."

"I'm afraid so," she said, thinking of all the buttons on the back of her dress. She couldn't wait to get into more comfortable clothes, but she hoped Jane wouldn't be disappointed that she didn't have any lingerie for their wedding night. "Will you be offended if I wear my jersey for dinner?"

He chuckled. "No, my love. You shouldn't have to dress up twice in one day. Wear anything you like. Or nothing at all, which always gets my vote."

"It's a little cold for that," she said as they started up the stairs.

"I'll build a fire. And I promise to keep you warm," he said in a husky voice that made her very warm indeed.

As they went into the bedroom, Lisbon eyed the big bed with the fluffy down comforter and wondered if they could just crawl into it. It was getting dark out, after all, even though it wasn't six yet. She was tired, and they had to work tomorrow.

Jane pulled her into his arms and kissed her, starting out gentle but quickly heating to hungry. When they were forced to pull away to catch their breaths, he reached up and began undoing the pins that held her hair in place. She was glad she'd removed the veil before the reception, returning it to Mrs. Halloran since it was a family heirloom. She reached up to help take down her hair, but Jane stilled her hands. "Let me do this," he whispered.

She nodded, closing her eyes in pleasure as he stroked his fingers through each strand he freed. When all the hairpins were gone, he sank his hands into her hair and massaged her scalp, making her moan with pleasure.

"I love your hair," Jane murmured. "Have I ever told you that? So many times I struggled not to touch it, or found excuses to when I knew I shouldn't. I dreamed about your hair while I was gone. I wished I could go back in time and ask you for a lock of it to take with me. I missed you so much. Sometimes I thought I might die of the loneliness."

"I know," she whispered. "Me, too. It was like someone reached in and yanked my heart out. I couldn't see how I could ever recover."

"I'm so sorry, my darling," he whispered against her lips. "I'm so sorry. Never again, I swear it. I'll never leave you. No matter what."

He sealed his promise with a kiss, and she slid her hands into his hair, returning the favor of the scalp massage. Then she moved her hands to his bow tie and began untying it, letting the ends dangle as she started on his shirt buttons. He was so damn sexy in his tux, but she couldn't wait to have his bare skin under her fingertips.

"You better not," she warned. "I will hunt you down next time. Besides, you wouldn't want to leave Zelda to pine for you, would you?"

"No, I wouldn't. I want to keep both my girls happy," he agreed. "Turn around, darling, and let's see about these buttons. Whoever designed this dress wasn't a fan of easy access, I take it."

"Guess not," she said, reluctantly tearing herself away from exploring his chest and turning her back to him. "At least this is the most complicated thing you'll ever have to get me out of."

He chuckled, his breath warm against her neck. "I'm going to hold you to that. But it was worth it. You looked enchanting. I can't wait to see the wedding photos."

Lisbon was struck by the realization that probably nobody in the Austin office would be able to avoid seeing the photos once Jane got hold of them. So much for her hopes of staying low key while she established herself. But then, she'd been kidding herself all along. Since when was anything connected to Patrick Jane low key?

His nimble fingers rapidly made their way down her spine, interrupted only by the occasional pause as he bent to kiss the skin revealed as the fabric parted. When he finished with the buttons, he deftly unhooked her bra and slid both it and the dress off her shoulders.

Lisbon shivered in the cool air as she stepped out of the gown and bent to pick it up, laying it carefully across a nearby chair. She would have it cleaned and return it to Mrs. Halloran, since she would never have a daughter or granddaughter to pass it to. At least her neighbor could hold out hope for a great-granddaughter to use it, even if she might not be alive to see it.

Jane gave her a knowing look. "You're thinking about kids again."

She shrugged, succeeding in drawing his attention to her chest instead of her face. "I shouldn't be held accountable for every stray thought I have. Are you going to take your jacket off?"

He grinned. The overall effect of the grin, the tux, and his disheveled shirt and tie was devastating. "Lady's choice, my dear. Tell me what you'd prefer."

That made her grin back. "Hm. On one hand, if you have sex in that tux you'll probably have to buy it. Not necessarily a bad thing. On the other hand, if you take it off you won't be able to let the dogs in when they get tired of the great outdoors."

Jane walked past her to the window and drew back the curtain to look out. "I think we're good for a while. Zelda is digging, and Bear is interfering with the process by trying to figure out what she's after." He came back over and kissed her lovingly. "But I will happily buy a tux if you want. Just let me get a slightly better one."

"I'll think about it," she teased, reaching for his lapels and pushing the jacket off him. "But for now, I want the tux off."

"Your wish is my command," he replied, pulling off the tie. "I do love being skin to skin with you."

"Me too. In our nice big comfy bed, preferably." She decided to help him out by unfastening his pants, then knelt to help him out of his shoes so she could pull them completely off. Finding herself at eye level with his groin, she smiled and rubbed her cheek against his boxers, humming in pleasure and provoking a groan from him. His shirt hit the floor behind him, and he took hold of her shoulders to pull her to her feet so he could kiss her.

Seconds later, they were both completely naked and sliding beneath the covers, smiling at each other in the fading light seeping around the curtains.

"I love you," Lisbon whispered. She was getting used to saying it. In some ways, she couldn't believe she'd only started a week ago.

"I love you too," he whispered back, rubbing her nose with his. "And I am so happy to be your husband."

Lisbon picked up his left hand and rubbed her thumb over the ring she'd put there mere hours ago. For so long, his old ring had been a barrier between them, a sign that he wasn't hers—and might never be. But now this shiny new band marked him as hers for life. Just as her rings marked her as his.

It felt so odd to belong to someone, she thought. But at the same time, it felt absolutely right. "I'm happy to be your wife."

He grinned. "You sound surprised."

"I am, I guess. I never really thought I would get married, not since I was a kid," she said, kissing his chin. "But I'm glad we are. I'm glad to know that I'm going to go to bed with you every night and wake up with you every day. That I'll never have to miss you again."

"Never," he agreed, one hand finding a breast and giving it a firm squeeze. "This is our life now. No more being on our own."

Lisbon reflected that she'd always been proud of being on her own, of being strong enough to get through life dependent on no one. She'd had a vague idea that marriage was not for her, because she wasn't willing to compromise. But she knew that she wasn't compromising with Jane. She was just choosing to follow her heart for once. That was a luxury she hadn't expected to have, especially after he vanished.

She let out a breathless moan as his hands roved over her body, turning her on her back for better access. Resolving to be in the moment, she returned her attention to her husband's arousal, smiling as she drew a groan from him.

She'd never really understood the deeper meanings of the word consummation before. But this was far too weighty to be just sex. It was a promise, a beginning. Part of their new roles for each other, their new identities.

She was Patrick Jane's wife. And she was going to love every minute of it.

mmm

Jane rolled out of bed when the dogs wanted out around six the next morning, taking a quick, very hot shower to relieve his sore muscles before dressing and getting started on breakfast. Lisbon remained huddled in bed, adorably sleepy and grumpy, making a little noise of protest as he kissed the tip of her nose before heading downstairs.

He'd outdone himself last night, he thought smugly. He'd wanted it to be spectacular for Lisbon, and he'd succeeded. She was passionate and generous and everything he could have asked for, and he was still amazed that she'd married him. He absolutely did not deserve her. But he was going to try.

He'd just put a breakfast casserole in the oven when he heard her stirring upstairs. The shower started soon after, and Jane smiled, picturing her all soapy and beautiful, as he let the dogs in and started her coffee.

He had her mug all ready to hand her when she wandered into the kitchen, dressed in work clothes, her gorgeous hair confined to a pony tail. He smiled at her as she took the mug and the rings on her left hand gleamed at him. "Good morning, my dear wife," he said, pecking her on the cheek after she'd had her first sip.

"Morning, husband," she muttered from behind the mug, reaching down to pet the dogs, who were crowding her for their morning greeting.

"Omelet or pancakes?" He turned back to the counter to continue chopping mushrooms for the omelets.

"Mm. I don't know," she said, moving to the table.

"Both, then." He grinned over his shoulder, noting with a spurt of male pride that she was sitting down very carefully.

"Trying to fatten me up?" she challenged.

"Merely to ensure you are sufficiently fortified for the day ahead," he replied. He was a little concerned that this case must be a bad one for Abbott to cut their holiday short. She might not be eating very well for the immediate future. "I'm going to eat before everyone gets here, since I'm cooking. Would you care to join me?"

"Sure. Then I can hold Maddie while her parents eat," she replied, brightening a little.

Jane was glad to see her happy, but he wondered if her desire for a baby would persist once they were back in their usual routines. It was natural, he assured himself, for her to think about it while getting married. But aside from his fears and their ages, he just couldn't see how they could make parenthood work with their jobs. He wasn't free to quit anytime soon, and he couldn't see her as a full-time soccer mom. And he definitely couldn't see himself at the FBI without her.

He would have to wait and see whether this would pass. If she really wanted to add to their family, they'd find a way to make it work somehow. He never wanted her to feel that she was missing out on anything because of him. Not ever again.

mmm

Breakfast was a success, though it was a bit rushed. Rigsby and Grace had to get on the road by eight to get Ben back to his mom, and Tommy and Annie were flying back to Chicago at eleven. Jane handled the cleanup to allow Lisbon time for long goodbyes, then went outside to give each of the Rigsby clan a hug as they got in their car.

"Don't be a stranger," Grace whispered as they hugged.

"We won't," he promised. "Drive safely!" He waved as they pulled out of the driveway, then turned to pickpocket Annie's phone for old time's sake, handing it back to her as she opened the rental car's passenger door.

"Damn!" she laughed. "Come to Chicago soon. Uncle James'll have a stroke!"

"Annie!" Tommy and Lisbon chorused in identical tones of disapproval.

"What? I'm sure it wouldn't be fatal," she replied.

Lisbon leaned in for one last hug, and Jane turned to Tommy. "Thank you for coming. It meant a lot to both of us."

Tommy shook his hand. "You be good to her."

"I will. Count on that," Jane promised.

"I am." Tommy nodded firmly, then got into the car. Jane stepped back and waited for Lisbon to finish hugging and admonishing her brother, then slid an arm around her shoulders as they waved goodbye.

When the car was out of sight, Jane kissed her temple as she surreptitiously wiped her eyes. "I'll get started on the packing. Why don't you have some quality time with the dogs?"

"I'll pack my own bag," Lisbon said firmly.

He chuckled at her stubborn refusal to be coddled. They'd been living together for two months now; it wasn't like she had any secrets from him. "Great. Then we can both have some quality time with the dogs."

"Not too much though. We don't want to make Abbott any more annoyed than he already is," Lisbon said as they went back inside.

Jane grinned. "But he's so cute when he's annoyed."

Lisbon smacked him on the chest with the back of her hand, which made him downright nostalgic. He grabbed her gloved hand and pressed it to his mouth, melting her annoyed frown into a smile.

"Don't get us fired," she warned.

"I assure you," he said, "that is not even a remote possibility."

mmm

After packing, loading up the rental car, and hugging the dogs goodbye, they set out on the two hour drive to Seattle. Lisbon let Jane drive so she could nap, since he'd kept her up for a large part of last night. She was fast asleep before Jane stopped to drop off his rented tuxedo.

Fischer had texted both of them directions to the Seattle field office, which Jane committed to memory before they left. Now he texted Fischer an ETA, because he knew Lisbon would have done it if she'd stayed awake long enough. Even though she was not responsible for his behavior at work, it occurred to him that their marriage might lead some of their colleagues to infer that she should be able to influence him. Until everyone got used to them being married, he would be a bit more cautious than usual so as to minimize the fallout on his wife.

It was still strange to apply those words to Lisbon, though it made his heart leap to do so. For so long, anytime he said "my wife," it was a guilty reminder of how he had failed the woman he loved. He would not fail again. He would keep a close watch over her and be careful not to expose her to danger through his behavior. But it was a great comfort that if he slipped up, his new wife never had fewer than two guns within reach and knew how to subdue a man twice her weight.

He glanced over at her. She was so petite, so beautiful, so gentle with his wounded soul that it was often easy to overlook the fierce core of her. She was no tame pet bird content in a cage, but a raptor—strong, swift, and deadly. That she deigned to come to him and tolerate his touch was little short of a miracle, if he believed in such things. He would ensure that she never had reason to seek a new perch.

Lifting a hand off the steering wheel, he stroked the curve of her cheek with a finger. She let out a little sigh, the corners of her mouth lifting slightly, and he smiled as he returned his attention to the road.

All too soon he was navigating through Seattle traffic. When he had safely parked the car in the FBI garage, he reached over and woke Lisbon with a gentle kiss on her lips. "We're here, love," he said.

"Mmm." She blinked and yawned, then smiled at him. "Already?"

"Yes. Come on; I'm sure there'll be coffee inside."

"Coffee and case files. Just like a normal morning," she said, unfastening her seatbelt.

"Except that it's our first as husband and wife," he pointed out. "Come on. Let's go surprise them."

She gave him a look and got out of the car. As they walked to the security checkpoint in the lobby, she said, "Tell me you're not going to make a scene."

"I'm not going to make a scene," he repeated obediently.

"Do you mean that, or are you just trying to shut me up?" she demanded.

"I mean it," he said. He couldn't blame her for being skeptical, after all the times he'd lied to her. She needed time to learn that she could trust what he told her.

"Well, good." She was unconvinced, he knew, but evidently had decided that pursuing the issue wouldn't achieve anything.

They were directed to a conference room on the third floor, a dreary, windowless space that made him think fondly of the glass-walled one in Austin. Abbott, Fischer, and Cho were there, along with a couple other agents who were apparently locals.

Abbott greeted them with, "Jane. Lisbon. Nice of you to join us."

"Yes, it is, considering," Jane replied pleasantly. "But you're welcome."

Cho's mouth quirked in one of his split-second smiles, while Fischer rolled her eyes.

"So," Jane continued, "what was so important it couldn't wait a day?" He took the seat beside Lisbon, who was looking tense. He winked at her, which for some reason did not seem to reassure her.

"A defense contractor is missing," Abbott replied.

Jane reflected on the number of federal contractors who seemed to find themselves in trouble. "And?"

"And we need to find her," Abbott said patiently. "If you'd been here yesterday evening, you'd have gotten to see the crime scene before the techs got to it. But since your vacation was more important than your job, you have to make do with photos."

Jane looked at the monitor on the wall. He noted a few details and formed a theory while keeping his bored expression. Then he reached up to scratch his nose with his left hand.

Abbott missed it, busy talking about national security, blah blah blah. But Fischer did a double take, eyes widening as she looked at his wedding ring. Jane then had several minutes of great amusement as Fischer tried everything she could think of to see Lisbon's hands, which were folded demurely in her lap as she listened attentively to Abbott.

When Abbott finished speaking, Lisbon frowned and said, "But if she was finished with her project, why think foul play? She might have decided to take some time off."

Abbott said, "Not everyone is as enamored of time off as you and Jane are. Her coworkers say she's never offline. Yet she hasn't responded to a text, email, or phone call for 72 hours."

"No GPS on the phone, I take it," Lisbon said, reaching for the file Fischer passed her. Jane gleefully noted Fischer's frustration that Lisbon used her right hand, but soon enough Lisbon brought her left hand up to hold a photo for extra scrutiny. Fischer's sharp breath was audible from across the table, and she quickly picked up her coffee mug to hide her smug expression.

Jane glanced at Cho, who'd been watching the show too, one corner of his mouth twitching. Then he let them all have it. "What about her second cell phone?"

Everyone turned to look at him. One of the locals said, "She doesn't have a personal cell."

"Of course she does," Jane said. "Look at her bookshelves. Spy novels and books about privacy and cybercrime. This is a woman who is keenly aware that everything she does on her cellphone is subject to government snooping. She's got a second phone for personal use, probably a no-contract pay-as-you-go one."

Lisbon was now leafing through phone records. "That, or she has no life. All the calls are work-related. So are the texts."

"So she's dedicated." Jane wished he'd been paying attention when the local guys were introduced. It was irritating not to have a name to go with the face.

"She has to have at least one friend," Jane said. "Unless her coworkers told you she was socially awkward and a loner."

"No," Cho said. "They said she was friendly and outgoing."

Jane nodded. "Exactly. It's all there in her eyes. Extrovert. Find her personal phone and you'll find her. She turned the work phone off to decompress. And who can blame her, really. All work and no play is depressing." He got to his feet. "I need some tea. Coffee, Lisbon?"

"Thanks," she replied, still reading the file. His heart swelled with affection as he looked at his diligent, hardworking wife.

"All right, take five, everyone," Abbott said, in a vain attempt to assert control.

Jane managed to locate a forlorn box of tea bags on a top shelf in the break room, but no kettle. He'd have to settle for the hot water spigot on the water cooler. Opening the refrigerator to help himself to the milk, he heard Fischer come up behind him.

"You got married!" she said. "Congratulations!"

"Thank you."

"So that's why you didn't come yesterday. You were on your honeymoon."

"Actually," Jane said, "we got married yesterday. Our honeymoon didn't even last a day, thanks to the FBI's inability to distinguish between someone dropping off the grid to recharge and being kidnapped."

"It's a theory," Fischer said. "You've given us no evidence yet."

"Surely you must be capable of doing something so simple without me?" He goaded her on purpose, because he was annoyed. He could be in bed with his wife right now instead of here pointing out the obvious. "My work here is done."

"Not quite. Finish the case and maybe Abbott will give you a couple of days off to celebrate," Fischer said, refilling her coffee mug.

Jane said, "Meh," because the honeymoon he had planned would take more than a couple of days. So it would have to wait, because Lisbon was still trying to be a good FBI employee and wouldn't be willing to piss Abbott off.

"Suit yourself," Fischer shrugged as she left. She'd been working with them long enough now that she wouldn't waste her time interrogating him; she'd try to worm the details out of Lisbon instead.

When Jane came back into the conference room, he smiled his most obnoxious smile at Abbott, whose eyes went straight to his ring. Ah, he'd noticed Lisbon's first. He handed her the mug of coffee with a smile, relieved that she didn't seem upset.

"Congratulations. When we solve this case, I'll buy you both a drink," Abbott said with a smile.

Jane sat down and stage whispered, "He's fishing to see if you're pregnant. He thinks you had to marry me."

Lisbon gave him a smack, neatly backhanding him out of her personal space before addressing Abbott. "Thank you, sir. We'll take you up on that."

Cho came back into the room. "I checked with Wiley. He thinks he's found the charges for her second phone. He's looking up the account now."

Jane sipped his tea. "So, where shall we have lunch? We have to have seafood while we're here."

Everyone ignored him, which was fine. It wouldn't take long to clear up this misunderstanding, he knew, and then he could take Lisbon to lunch before heading back to Cannon River. They'd rebook their airline reservations for tomorrow and head back to Austin with the dogs. Then they'd get on with the rest of their happily married lives.

mmm

Lisbon couldn't be surprised, though she rolled her eyes, when they found their "kidnap victim" in a remote cabin in the woods working on her spy novel manuscript, surprised and chagrined that she hadn't remembered to put in her leave notice and explaining that she hadn't wanted her friends and family to know what she was doing. Jane made sure to tell everyone that he'd told them so, adding that this was exactly how he wanted to spend his first day married to her. The sarcasm rolled off Abbott, which she was was both thankful for and annoyed at.

They grabbed a late lunch at a nice seafood restaurant downtown, enjoying themselves even though Jane kept looking at his watch. At precisely 2:14, he leaned over and kissed her lips. "Happy 24 hour anniversary, my love."

She chuckled. "Are we celebrating in one-day increments?"

"Yes. Because every day I'm married to you is a tremendous gift, and I'm not taking any of them for granted," Jane replied.

She was touched, and she let him see it instead of hiding behind a mocking retort. "Me either," she said.

He held up his teacup as if toasting. "To many, many happy days together."

She clinked her bottle of beer against the teacup. "And even happier nights."

Jane's grin was blinding.


End file.
